Breed and Burn: Faceless

Chapter 5 - Don't Speak

He stepped into the shower, toes clenching as they touched the cold, ceramic floor. Axel's mind was in shreds. The image of his face would follow him for the rest of his life. He couldn't just make it go away. That was who he was. Turning the dial so it released thousands of lukewarm droplets that ran down his back and darkened his hair, he pressed himself against the tiled wall.

What had made him want to change his face into something so inhumane? It wasn't even the features themselves that frightened him. It was the complete absence of flaws and imperfections and how symmetrical his face was. Maybe if he had a few scars or acne on his face he would look a little more human. He kept trying to convince himself over and over again that this was the norm. It was normal. It was even normal to be part human and part robot so why did this affect him so much?

At least he wasn't the only one. Axel believed that anyone who didn't look like him would not understand why it felt so crushing to look in the mirror and see a mask of eerie perfection.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Axel hoped the water would disfigure his face or at least extinguish the enflamed emotions tor dissolve the carousel of thoughts which were spinning through his head.

His thoughts were a screenplay in an invisible place, replaying the prior events in absolute disbelief. He shut his eyes like he would open his eyes and he would be home. Wherever home was. The invisible space was a safe place to experiment with ideas and theories as to how they wound up in this situation, but each was unlikely as the other. As dumb as it sounded, Axel wanted to be helpful. His mind froze for a split second. Why? He hardly knew these boys, yet it seemed like they'd known each other for years. They were easy to talk to and even though the grimy wall that blocked his memories, Axel knew he had trouble with that. Speaking. Holding conversations.

There were no towels, so Axel did his best to wipe himself down with a wad of toilet paper. Axel thought ahead and tried not to use too much. Who knew how long they'd be there for stuck with very little supplies? Once dressed in the same clothes that everyone had been wearing; blue cotton shirt, grey trousers, and white trainers, he began making his way out of the bathroom. He had already searched for labels and rummaged through pockets to find something that could be even partially useful. Nothing. It was like they were meant to feel like aliens on a different planet. Disorientated. Each step sent the room tilting back and forth. He needed to find something to eat.

Time was so shapeless and disorientating that each second felt shorter than then the next. Each minute barely passed like a second. His thoughts invaded his mind, blurring the concept of time as he drifted in and out of reality. However, instinct told him he had been there much longer then he should have. He had heard several people from inside the cubicle: toilets flushing, running water and dreamy conversations that said nothing. Whilst peeling his shirt off his wet skin, Axel felt his entire body spasm and seize with a fresh wave of hunger. He groaned. In the empty room, it amplified and developed a savage, monstrous tinge.

Who could have done this to them? They were on a train heading for nowhere and everywhere with no memory or clue who he was, and he'd just blindly trusted a group of teenage boys. The outsides looked like an entirely different planet altogether. That sounded insane even in his head, yet this was his reality. He was experiencing it before his very eyes.

A thought struck him. It was so simple. It was so simple yet it... It was just a thought, yet it brought a long-buried emotion. It made his mind churn, made it seem like a thrashing ocean in an undying storm. It trundled through his brain with no attempt at stopping.

They couldn't be the only ones. They were on a train for a reason. There had to be a reason they almost died when the opened the window. But for what reason he couldn't figure out or even come up with a single theory that seemed even close to the truth. There had to be a reason they were all similar ages and male. Perhaps the other groups consisted of females of similar ages or even mixed ages and genders. Scrunching up his eyebrows, he felt his heart sink low and cold. What if this was an experiment? And on top of it all, they had no food and were likely to starve to death.