Finding Alice

Chapter Thirty

Past

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Within a few weeks, Alice's body had grown too much for her to leave the hare's burrow regularly. She had a more challenging time moving quickly if things went wrong, and Jefferson knew they were running out of time. Some small part of him hoped their child would be born in Wonderland so he could see them at least once before sending them off through the portal. But he knew the only way to ensure their safety was to send them before they could be born in such a dangerous place.

He concocted a plan. He had to convince Alice to get away from the burrow and up onto the hill where the portal still waited for them. He had to get her close enough to push her through or just pick her up and toss her in before she could put up much of a fight.

He almost succeeded.

Alice was restless. She paced through the garden and refused the hare's offers of tea. She wasn't the same curious and adventurous woman he'd known. She was scared and tired, and he could see her growing wearier the larger her womb grew.

He asked her to take a walk with him, just up onto the hill where they could look over Wonderland and be away from the burrow for a while. For a moment, he thought she might be in on his plan. But she'd quickly shrugged it off and went to get her boots.

It was difficult for her to walk up the hill. The baby grew heavier every day, and she clutched at his arm, breathing hard, as he helped her move. As soon as they reached the crest, he tried to inch her closer to the portal, but she had to rest and catch her breath.

"How much longer do you think it'll be?" he asked, rubbing her back while she leaned over and clutched at her stomach.

"I don't know," she said. "I must not have been paying attention to that lesson."

"It wouldn't matter if you did. It's happening too rapidly here."

"I know," she breathed. "Seems like only yesterday I could walk up a hill without feeling like my lungs were on fire. She's grown so heavy these past few days." He was startled for a second.

"She?" She ran her hands over her belly and groaned as he pressed his knuckles to the base of her spine.

"I'm not certain," she explained, opening her eyes and glancing up at him. "But the animals here—they all seem to know things that haven't happened yet, you know? They never go into detail, but sometimes—they say things. Odd things."

"And someone said something to make you believe we're a daughter?" She nodded.

"When the rabbit came to visit the other day. He referred to my belly as 'Miss Grace.'"

"Where was I?"

"You went to fetch me a cushion." He chewed on his lip and looked down at the valley where the smoke from the burrow's chimney twisted in the air. Something shimmered between the tall blades of grass, moving quickly like a prowling Bandersnatch.

"A daughter," he said. Then he leaned forward to hold his hand against her belly. She smiled back at him, not knowing it would be the last time they'd all be together. He wanted to enjoy the moment before he wrapped his arms around her and carried her off to the portal. She'd probably fight and kick and scream, and someone would hear, but he'd do it anyway. He had no choice.

The moment was broken by the sound of armor shuffling from down the road. Her eyes widened in panic, and he tensed.

"Run," he said. He grabbed her by the waist and tried to hoist her up, but she'd grown too heavy, and it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be.

"Jefferson," she snapped as he dragged her. "The burrow's the other way."

"We're not going to the burrow." The sound was growing louder. They were getting closer. And she was struggling too much for him to get a good grip on her body.

"Jefferson. Please? Please don't do this? I know what you're doing. Don't do this to us."

"I have to, Alice. It's the only way."

"It's not the only way. Just trust me. Once I can move again, I'll find a way. I know Wonderland. I can survive here. You can't. Please? Just give me a chance to try?"

He got her out onto the road, and she pushed against him. The portal was just at the top of the hill, and the guards rushed toward them from the bottom. They shouted as they caught sight of their prey.

"I have to do what I can to protect my family, Alice," he said, yanking her toward the portal and trying to pick up the pace. Even if she were to comply, he didn't think they could get much faster. She was struggling to breathe as well as fight him. Then she started crying. Thunder rippled through the sky, and the clouds began to trickle, making the cobblestones slick and slippery.

"Please, Jefferson. Don't do this?" she begged.

"Just make sure she knows I love her. Make sure she knows I did this for her. I'll find a way back to you, I promise. If I don't come home—Don't trust anyone. Don't go to the Dark One. The neighbors down the way. They'll help you with whatever you need. Take care of her."

"Jefferson, no." She dug her nails into his arm, but he didn't relent. He almost had her there. The portal was within reach. All he needed was one more burst of speed, and she'd be gone and safe forever.

They just never made it.

The guards were getting closer, and Alice was struggling. Before he knew it, they'd thrown something and struck him on the back.

The pain shot over him and froze his body to a halt. Alice stumbled out of his grip and then rushed back at him. She took his face in her hands. Her cheeks were wet with tears, and he wanted more than anything to give her a few more shoves just to get her through the portal. But his hands were frozen.

"Please?" he begged. "We won't make it now. Just go."

"I won't leave you," she said.

"Damn it, Alice. Just go!"

She opened her mouth to argue, but the argument never came. She was ripped away from him, and he couldn't fight back. They took him by the arms and dragged him down the hill. He couldn't see her, but he could hear her fighting to be free. She didn't let up until they reached the Queen's hedges. She went silent, and the enchantment held. He couldn't protect her anymore.

The Queen stood before her throne, wearing a mask to cover her face. Alice was brought to the dais' foot, and though she was no longer yelling, she was still fighting to be free. She'd just grown too weak. Jefferson was forced still at the back, but he refused to take his eyes off her. It was his crime. He was the one who made the deal and took the rose from the garden.

"Please?" she begged. "Please just let us go?"

The Queen whispered to the man at her side, and he stood forward to call out her sentence.

"The child," he said. "Remove it."