Dearest Husband

8. Falling for Ar Rahman

In the Name of Allaah the Ever Watchful Guide and the Bestest of all friends

Thousands of blessings and peace of Allaah SWT be upon His beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW, his blessed descendants and noble companions.
- Aameen

8. Falling for Ar Rahman

You say come to love Him and we shall understand. Please tell me friend, how does one come to that stage? Tell me how does one develop one's self to Love only Him and forget about everything else? This slave is weak and ignorant. I have always admired those who are close to Him and wondered how they attained that peace. Please enlighten me.

This comment was posted a few days back and it did not let me sleep. The words rang in my head on repeat and I paused in between tasks to wonder how is that I came to love Ar Rahman so much.

It does not mean that I'm perfect in all His commands and rarely commit wrong, perhaps the opposite because there are times when I become so hopeless knowing deep within that there is really no deed of mine worth submitting before Him and I don't know what to do except sob my heart out... but always it is the hope of His vast Mercy which pulls me through utter despair... Alhamdulillaah

When I first got married to my husband, deep down I was really scared but nobody knew it (except Allaah). I met him for the first time after our Nikah and on the following days after, I remember lying awake beside him at nights and scrutinizing his sleeping profile in the dark wondering about his real nature and how Ar Rahman chose him for me from among the thousand other men out there. I trusted Allaah 'Az wa Jal completely but it was early days of our marriage and I was constantly on the lookout for something ugly to rear its head from behind the happiness that cloaked me.

So days passed and months and now our three years together are over Alhamdulillaah and this I can say without any concealment –– I very much enjoyed my husband's humour and attention but didn't fall in love with him at first sight though he is a handsome man to look at, somewhat like an angry prince with his dark eyebrows and roman nose (he reminds me of Sylvester from Georgette Heyer's novel the Wicked Uncle!)

Only gradually, I got to know the real man beneath all the barriers and I found that he had such an unselfish loving heart, so much better than mine making me realize then that no matter that I was crazy about Ar Rahman, with his selfless kindness Allaah SWT Himself would love him which made me fall in love with my husband. Alhmadulillaahi Rabbil 'Alameen.

I talk about this not to share private details but as an example for the question asked above, because to truly love someone greatly not just superficially for looks, wealth etc. You've to see them at both their good and bad days, how they behave to you at their worst... early in marriage it was all new for me and so many little things frustrated me about my husband but I've learnt to accept and be tolerant as he had done with me regarding my own flaws. Kindness towards each other is very important in marriage...

From this I want to show that knowledge about a person is crucial – the more you know about their attributes, their behaviour, the more you would truly fall in love.

When I was in my eighth grade, I remember deciding to read the Holy Qur'an with translation. We did not have an English one, so I began to read the Tamil translation. Every day I used to sit after Maghrib and recite an Ayah then I would read aloud its meaning in Tamil. Our home was a small one and my Didi and brother who were usually sitting near used to tease me mercilessly with exaggerated groans and giggles (ya Allaah, here she goes again! Why don't you read it in silence Gudi? God she sounds like a...!)