Dearest Husband

3. Nikāh and after that

In the Name of Allaah the All Knowing the Most Wise

Beautiful Peace and Cherished blessings of Allaah SWT be upon His beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW, his blessed descendants and noble companions. - Aameen

Dedicated to Syeda Fathima Mehek, for your kind messages. Dear sister in Islam, my hearty wishes for your wedding and I hope this chapter helps a bit in shaa Allaah.

بارك الله لكما وبارك عليكما

وجمع بينكما في خير

(May Allah bless everything for you two
And shower His blessings upon the two of you
And may he bring you together
In everything that is good)

Warning: Mature Content. Not recommended for those under fifteen years. It's written solely for the purpose of benefiting others. And verily, Allaahu SWT is All - Seeing and well aware of what is in our hearts.

NIKAH and after that

Most of our close relations had camped at our home a day before my wedding. It was how it should be -a mixture of chaos and fun, with teasing and moments of sobriety thrown in. I was a bundle of nerves but I wore the cloak of calmness outside and tried to smile to all the silly comments about me and my groom while wondering whether there were butterflies or waves which were crashing inside my stomach.

I think it comes from being a South Indian, plus of course, as a Muslim too... because out of shyness and the innate horror of avoiding all topic related to sex, nobody here tells you exactly what is that you're going to have to experience with your husband soon.

Married women no doubt talk of it when teasing or when some need arises, no doubt men venture about the topic among themselves. But the point is, girls, especially Muslim girls raised in seclusion don't know much which needs to be known before they get married. Even though, most of it seemed to have changed now because of the internet and the access to so many things which we shouldn't have. Also, our peers and friends are important here in the way they introduce or shape our mind towards these issues.

Ignorance is not good but that doesn't mean we can learn from the resources we should be avoiding at all costs. Our Islam is a most pure and perfect religion and it explains all matters clearly. Just be careful from what source you gain your knowledge from. May Allaah SWT Guide us all to what is right and pure! Aameen.

As my marriage neared, I devoured most of the Islamic books and sites, and also heard many lectures especially about this particular subject and tried to prepare myself as best I can. The reality when you finally experience still leaves you stunned. In a good way of course.

Anyways with my wedding very close, it was actually funny how my Ammi would open her mouth to tell me something regarding this, and then firmly shut it back again, perhaps out of shyness or perhaps she didn't want me to be frightened... my step mamma too would look at me for some time as if she wanted to tell much about it, but then she would only ask whether I've all the lotions and hair removing creams. It was her way of telling me what I should expect; I couldn't help but grin at their abashment.

So the job fell to my Didi who looked everywhere but me and said in a rush but still kindly, "Gudi y'know, it hurts in the beginning. But you should relax. Don't be tense okay? Try to relax, it gets better soon."