That's My Harley: A Harley Quinn x Male Reader (+18)

Epilogue

Years Later...

You're sitting in your new apartment that you've had for a year when you hear what sounds like fighting outside. You look outside to see Harley fighting...Nightwing? Ugh, not him again...you think to himself as you grab your belt. You slide down the walls and strike Nightwing from behind. "Nighty night, jerk!" Harley says before kicking Nightwing in the head, knocking him out. "Hi, Baby. I'm home." Harley says before wrapping her arms around you and kissing you passionately. "Ah, I've missed you" you say backing away from her lips yet still in her arms, "I think I liked it better when I was the only one who worked."

You let go of her completely and pick up Nightwing. "Where should we put him?" Harley thinks for a minute. "Let's take him inside, but tie em' up." You make two trips flying up the building. "No one tried anything, did they?" you ask her carrying her as you go on the second trip up. "Well, one guy tried grabbin' my ass, but then I broke his arm!" You laugh as you enter the apartment. "That's why I married you, Harl. When you're mad, you're absolutely blood hungry!" Harley giggles as you put her down on the floor.

Later...

Nightwing wakes up and sees he's in a completely different room and sees you two talking. "Well, we can't just let him go! He knows where we live now!" you say to Harley. "Yeah, yeah, I know! He'd blab to Batman for sure. We could've just killed him!" You put your hands on her shoulders. "Harls, we're not criminals anymore, remember?" Harley looks at you then looks at the floor. "Yeah, you're right. Maybe you were also right about us helpin' them. Sounds like Ivy could be in real trouble." She looks over and sees Nightwing trying to escape. "Don't bother yellin' for help. This place is condemned. No one here but us, Nightwig." Nightwing corrects Harley on how his name is pronounced, which makes her remind her of when Nightwing had a mullet back in the day.

"Sticks and stones, lady. I've taken trash talk from bigger criminals than you." Harley gets upset instantly. "Criminals?!? If ya haven't noticed, I went straight! We both did! I'm a freakin' waitress already!" Nightwing doesn't seem to believe her, so you get her all of her rejections from other jobs, and she shows them to Nightwing. "You think I'm a criminal. They think I'm a whore. Well I'm sick of people tellin' me what I am!" Harley crosses her arms. "Whatever. Gotta say, you gave me one heck of a workout." Harley takes a whiff of her pits. "Phew! Got me all sweat stinky!" Harley walks into the bathroom to take a shower. "Hey, Baby! Can you come in here for a second?" You walk inside to see Harley naked. "Why don'tcha come join me?" she asks seductively while doing a sexy pose. You quickly take off your clothes and you both get in the shower and fool around.

Later...

You and Harley change into your old costumes and untie Nightwing. "Alright, we'll help," you tell him, "but we're doing this for Ivy." Suddenly, Batman comes inside to see the three of you. "Hiya, Bats! Meet ya in the car!" You both walk outside. "Did they torture you at all?" Batman asks Nightwing, who thinks back to hearing you and Harley fool around in the shower unable to plug his ears. Ooooh, Y/N!! What'cha gonna do ta me?? Nightwing shudders, reliving the painful memory. You all soon leave on an adventure to stop Ivy and a new villain named the Floronic Man from covering the Earth with plants.

Along the way you and Harley beat up a guy named Bobby Levoitz, Harley's prom date, who shut her down, fart in the Batmobile, beat up almost all of Batman's villain's sidekicks in a bar, and find Ivy and FM and the scientist under Ivy's control but end up fighting. The building you're in lights on fire. FM stabs the old man and he and Ivy flee. After you all survive, you witness the old man die. Before he does, he helps you find out where Ivy and FM leave to. Louisiana. You all end up in Louisiana and end up fighting again. Harley and Ivy and up duking it out while you, Batman, and Nightwing take on FM.

After a few harsh words and a few more blows to the face, Harley eventually convinces Ivy that her plan isn't a good one. Ivy stands up to FM but ends up defeated by him. He gets ready to activate his master plan. All hope seems lost when Swamp Thing rises from a bog... and does absolutely nothing. Harley then gets an idea to just light FM on fire before he could finish the job.

Months Later...

You and Harley sit on the couch and watch the most recent episode of Harley's new TV show.



You both laugh as the episode ends and goes to commercial. "Oi. Bein' a TV doctor can be so much fun! Really glad things went well for us after that Ivy fiasco with Batman and Nightwig." You chuckle remembering that crazy adventure. "You remember the look on Bats' face when we farted in his own car?!" Harley bursts out laughing as she starts remembering the adventure as well.

"Fightin' all those guys in the bar was pretty fun, too!" she remarks. "I didn't know you were such a good singer!" you tell her, referring to when she had to sing for everyone in order to get more information about Ivy's whereabouts. "Well, I didn't like doin' it fa them, but I'll do it for you!" She bops you on the nose. "How bout' right now?" you ask. Harley smiles and stands up. You turn off the TV and play the song in your phone.

Many Years Later...

You and Harley are in your old age in Neo Gotham happy as can be when you get a phone call from Arkham Asylum. "Hello, this is Debby from Arkham Asylum. We have you're granddaughters, Delia and Deidre here--" You quickly interrupt the lady on the phone. "We'll be right there!" You hang up the phone to tell Harley the bad news.

Later

The cell doors to the twin girls dressed in clown makeup, white booty shorts, red crop tops, and white hats open. "Delia and Deidre Dennis? You're grandparents have paid your bail and you're being released into their custody pending your trial."

"Oh." Delia says. "Joy." Deidre says finishing her sisters sentence. You both stand there disappointed. "You rotten little scamps!" Harley yells. "We struggle to make a good home for you and this is the thanks we get!" you chime in. After the two girls walk out of their cell, Harley spanks them with her cane, making them yell in pain. They rub their butts to get rid of the pain. It hurt that badly.

"Break a grandmother's heart! I hope they throw the book at you!" Harley continues as you all walk down the hallway. "Oh, shut up, Nanny Harley" one of the girls says. "Who do you think you're talking to?!?" You snap at them. They immediately keep their mouths shut and look down at the floor. "Kids these days..." Harley says putting her head on your shoulder. "Remember dear," you say as you exit the building, "we used to be just like them." Harley giggles and holds on to your arm. "That's my Harley" you say, walking off to the parking lot.

The End