Kiss Or Miss - The Adventures Of Johnny Applebee

Pretty Poison

Chapter 4-

~Pretty Poison~

Silence. We both said nothing as I continued to stare at a heavily breathing Salem who was staring at the ground as we both knelt about two feet away from each other in front of his dresser in his bedroom. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I mean, my god. I just kissed a boy. And, I barely even knew this kid! I never kissed someone before. I mean, I suppose I never really felt the need or desire to do so. But, if I said that what had just occurred didn't give me shivers down my spine and throughout my entire body that I did not understand or had ever felt before... I'd be lying.

I, finally, decided to break the silence, seeing as how his frightened face remained frozen onto his visage and he still wasn't saying anything. I was, actually, beginning to get a little nervous & worried. He wasn't even moving. He didn't look right. He looked like a ghost; he had the same look on his face that a warrior would have right after he had just seen his fellow soldiers being brutally decapitated in combat.

"Uhm... Salem?" He said nothing. Nothing at ALL. "Salem." I said a bit more sternly to issue a response back in an attempt to snap the ice he was mentally & physically trapped in at that moment. "...Salem??" I said a bit louder.

He gave a sudden look I cannot describe other than- "realization of his actions" and he just turned his body around and knelt facing away from me sitting on the back of his feet and I saw his head go down and his hands come up to cover his face. He didn't acknowledge me. He didn't look at me. I was shunned out of the cocoon he had built for himself, just then, for protection as if a tornado was blowing and he was shielding himself from its violent gusts of wind. He was sobbing. I heard him. Oh my god. I never heard a kid cry or sob so deeply before. He just sounded broken. It was a horrible sound to hear. Very rarely, in life, do you ever get to hear a person cry a truly heart felt, deep sob & when you do, all superficial things we tend to worry about get blocked away; you are shattered back into reality, realizing, just how real this world can be & that it isn't always fun & kisses all the time.

He couldn't control his crying as it flooded out of his throat in a horrid river of sobs and broken up breathing to himself. He gasped as he breathed in each broken up inhale as he struggled with the ability to breathe properly, choking on his own grief and embarrassment. It literally sounded like pain. If pain made a noise which came straight from someone's heart, that's exactly what it would sound like. It was almost disgusting how badly I felt for him at that moment. It sounded as though his mother had just passed away and he placed the final white lily onto her casket as they were about to walk away from her for the very last time right before they were about to bury her in the ground as his mind remembered how they would always bake cookies every Saturday afternoon for her bakery together, and at that moment when that lily fell and touched that casket, he realized that he would never get the chance to ever mix a single batch of cookies with her ever again.

A decision had to be made, just then. I, instinctively, scooted myself to be able to be in arms length with him. I hesitated. What would happen if I did this? How would he react if I tried to comfort him? This kid was, again, unstable; he was wild to say the least; I couldn't & didn't really trust him; and, apparently, no one else did, not even his own blood. The leash which was always tightly around his neck to restrain him from hurting others wherever he was, was unfastened and I was right there in harm's way if he decided to, suddenly, take advantage of that, turn against me, & release all of his anger & rage on me as he chased me like some wild animal like I was his prey as I made a mad dash for it like some squirrel being chased to go back & hide back in my tree.

Now that I knew his... secrets, it was even more risky. Again, I hesitated. But, with an exhale, I softly placed my hand on his shoulder from behind him and I spoke his name once more.