Unfathomable

Chapter 1

The Journey

The breeze was chill as I had to rush up to the station with my mum, the birds weren't even up for their morning play, as we hurried up to our seat coach.

My mum is a really patient person until things keep going her way, she can get real nasty if things get out of order. Given the ungodly hours that she was traveling, with a zombie twelve-year-old trudging behind her, that was most likely to happen.

This would then on become a routine for the both of us for the next five years, every single time she'd come to drop me off at the boarding gate.

I had a very peculiar ritual for my travel ways all those years, still do at times, where I'd worry and feel nervous about the journey two-days prior to the actual day which would eventually lead me to stop eating for the entire journey of two-days, that in-turn added to my mother's 'worrisome list'.
I was a quiet child as far as I could remember, never really liked the whole pomp of to-be-the-center-of-attention. Though even I had days when I'd start bawling and wouldn't stop hours, for reasons I couldn't even recollect.

How my mother seemed to tolerate me was beyond me, I was extremely clingy with her and refused to socialize with general people, she really hadn't lucked out in the department of having an entertaining child. Given that my elder brother also was on the shy side.

Don't really know how the both of us turned that way as, if you met our mother, you'd see that those shy genes were definitely not from her.

Back on the train that we got on, we struggled to find our seats, more like my mother shoved me into mine and tried her level best to secure some place for our luggage in the overhead baggage area.
This was going to be a long way and I don't think I could keep myself entertained for the 6 and a half hour long journey, or so I thought, but the view would soon take my breath away.

The journey to the city my boarding school was in, never ceased to amaze me, in all the five years I stayed there. The view was utter spectacular with rural and urban views of life settings. The blue of the sky merging with the green prosperity of the land there made a very unreal haze of blur if one focused out while the train whizzed past it.

All the scenes were surreal, except for the random walls of loud painted information of names and numbers, appealing to seekers of a healthier and better sex life. Which was disturbing for the first time when I saw it, yet over the years became part of the scenery, giving it its own touch.

We got served our complimentary breakfast and I did my best impression of gagging at the two nibbles I took of the sandwich. Forcing my mother to eat for the two of us, as it was strongly believed in our family that one shouldn't waste any food. That summarized the entirety of the journey for both of us, me quiet, thoughtful, and ignoring my mum except for my one hand clutching her arm tightly. The ever existent emptiness eating me away from the inside at the thought of leaving my mother later that day and I calmed myself with my tightening grip on her, trying to remember that I wanted this for myself. This was my choice.

Introduction to the Family

Life wasn't so bad in my house, other than the little annoyances that my brother caused me, his shy genes seemed to evaporate when it came to me. He's never shied away from teasing or bothering me. Other than that, we shifted a lot due to my father's posting recently and I constantly changed school which had left me even quieter as a person, as being the 'new girl' for five years sure had its perks. I had stopped talking to people outside my house, was grateful really for my brother's attempts to annoy me or I would probably have 'shut up' in the house too.

As I mentioned before, I was always a quiet child. Never was a loud kid, though I was a happy kid, remember the weird little kid you see in people's homes who peers at you from corners and asks you odd questions about the existence of things, that kid was me. Though it would be a lie if I tell you that I never lost my shit. I had bouts of crazy at times too, several times a day these days, where I sing ad jingles fullfledged or sing the uninterrupted lyrics to disgusting songs which would play in your head in a loop all day.