latch // luke h (on hold)

nineteen

Zara.

In my seventeen years of life, there had been only three times that I felt truly afraid.

The first time, I was six years old and eating rice crispies at my grandparents kitchen table. Some cringy pop song was playing in the background as I munched on my crackling cereal. Just as I was about to eat my fourth spoonful, I heard a crash come from the living room and my Nana scream. Granda called an ambulance and my Mother telling her she needed to come home from work. It turned out that she fell and smashed her hip. She had to go to hospital for an operation and had to stay there for a few months afterwards. Mam brought me to see her right after the operation because

I wouldn't stop begging, and I wish I waited another few weeks before I did. She looked so weak and helpless in her hospital bed. She couldn't talk properly and was out of it for most of the time. Long story short, she looked like death.

I didn't go back to the hospital after that, seeing her in that state scared me too much. I was terrified in case she would've actually died, and you have no idea how thankful I was when she didn't.

The second time I was sixteen, and I was with him. We had been going out for quite a while at that stage and what happened in that room changed my life forever. I think out of all of them that one was the most terrifying.

The third time, was that moment when Luke walked in on Calum and I looking so angry and betrayed.

I don't know why I felt so afraid, I think it was because I was afraid of what Luke would say to me. I completely invaded his privacy and I knew that if I was in his shoes I would've been so dissappointed.

"So," Luke began, his arms crossed around his chest. "I trust you with all of my personal information and you go and blab to the first person who asks about it. Nice going, Calum."

"Luke, mate," Calum stood up. "You know it's not like that."

"No!" Luke shouted, making me jump. I'd never heard him shout like that. "You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone, and then you go and tell one of the closest people to me."

"If she really is one of the closest people to you then she obviously deserved to know!" Calum exclaimed. "I wouldn't have told her unless I thought she should've known and you know that."

I had been quiet throughout this whole thing. I then stood up and turned to Calum, "Can you give us a few minutes?" I asked him.

"Sure," he grumbled, still looking at Luke. "My shift's over anyway." With that he left, leaving me with Luke.

"I don't know why you're blaming Calum for this," I said. "I made him tell me. It's all my fault not his."

He turned to face me. His glare was a mixture of anger and sadness and it made my heart break. I shouldn't have made Calum tell me and I know that, but I needed to know.

"I can't believe you, Zara. Honestly, I thought you were different. I thought you'd respect that I had secrets like I respect that you have yours. Don't even try and deny it, I know theres something more to your nightmares than you let on. But do I go around asking people to tell me about something personal and private about you? No. No because I know you'd hate me if I did that, I know you wouldn't forgive me. So tell me this, why should I forgive you?"

At this stage I was at a loss for words. He was right, everything he said was one hundred percent correct. I would've been fuming if I was in his shoes, I shouldn't have done it.

"I-I'm sorry, Luke," I choked out, tears threatening to spill.

He scoffed. "Well, it's a bit too late for that, isn't it?"

"I know I'm a hypocryte for making Calum tell me, I know that, but you were acting so strange and-"

"Then why didn't you come to me?"

"Because you would never have told me anything!" I screamed, tears were now streaming down my cheeks.

Luke stayed quiet for a few moments before speaking again. This time, his voice was calm. "Maybe it would be best if you just go," he said, not looking me in the eye.

I didn't respond. I just got my coat and scarf and walked past him and into the main part of the restaurant. A few pairs of eyes were on me but I tried to ignore them as I walked straight outside into the cold New York weather.

I walked home as quickly as I could while wiping my eyes dry. I kept crying though, so it was useless. The minute I got in home I ran into my room and leaned against the door for a minute. Everything Luke said replayed in my head over and over again. I began to cry even harder as I walked over to my bed and curled up into the ball on it.

I realised something while I was still crying. I had only cried over one boy before today, but now I'm after adding someone who I never thought I would cry over onto that list.

I needed to talk to someone. Usually in those kind of situations I would go to the playground and Luke would be there, but not tonight. There was only one more person I could call, and as I dialled their number I prayed that they would pick up right away.

And after a few rings they did. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry for c-calling, Immy. I just really n-need someone to talk to right now," I hiccupped into the speaker.

"Zara, relax and breathe, okay?" Imogen said soothingly. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I-it's Luke," I said, choking back another sob. "I'm after ruining everything with Luke."

trust me none of you hate me more than i hate myself rn

my otp is sinking im so upset :-((((

but ty all for 70k reads and 800 comments thats so crazy you guys deserve a lifetime supply of pizza

(((and i havent proofread yet so if you comment about a spelling mistake/typo i will find you and i will kill you)))

bye guys ily !!!

(im just after realising how short this is im sorry the next one will be much much longer)