ethan,
i was driving tonight, trying to get my mind straight, but didn't really know where i was going.
i ended up in front of your house, but i don't remember telling myself that that's where i wanted to end up going.
you used to do the same.
when we would get into one of our stupid little arguments and you'd be parked outside my house. almost like you were waiting for me to see you so i would come out.
and i always did.
i'd look through the window and see your car and feel an immediate warmth fill my body knowing that you were sorry just as much as i was.
i'd come outside and you'd get out of your car. without saying anything we would wrap our arms around each other and hold on tight.
those hugs. they were the most safe i've ever felt.
in your arms.
when you didn't come outside tonight, i guess it truly hit me that we are actually done.
i can't deal with this. not having closure.
i'm breaking.
from,
your past love
