Order's Origins

Prologue: An ordinary boy

“Do you want to break the shackles of fate?”

“Hey! Wake up for heaven’s sake!” A loud voice reached my ears, making me open my eyes full of irritation.

I set my gaze upon my classmate... He was obviously worrying about me. Although some of his brown hairs hid his blue eyes I could still simply guess how he made a compassionate face, observing my every reaction.

“I know the last days weren’t easy for you”, he started, trying to to use his words to comfort me, “but you should still try to sleep enough to not fall asleep on our school bus.”

I nodded and took a tired look outside the window. It was a plain, foggy day, like every day had been over the last few weeks. Raindrops fell on the road, giving me a feeling of complete emptiness, loosing myself into the rhythm of the gray, crying skies above us.

“Hey, Manuel.....”, I asked of my friend, without looking into his face, “do you believe in true freedom?” - “Dunno”, he simply replied, “never really thought about it. Why are you asking?”

I pondered whether or not I should tell him about the dream, but I then decided to let it go.

“No reason, really..... I just wondered..... what is life all about..... what worth does it have?.... What worth..... do I have..... after what happened?...... Do my decisions... have any worth?..... Or are we merely bound by fate?”

I felt that my shoulder was being grabbed. Turning me around, Manuel said: “Stop thinking such things. You can’t help everyone. Even less when you think like that. What happened is unfortunate, but she will have to deal with it. You as well. What you can do is to look forward... not to give up.”

Remorseful I looked outside of the window again. ‘He may be right......’, is what I thought back then...

An hour later our bus arrived. Like always we waited until the bus was empty before we left it, in order to not have to fight through the mass of students on the bus' hallway. Like every morning, there were already a bunch of people there before us.

They were from this one group of troublemakers that all wore the same clothing: A cap and a black hoodie.

Ignoring them we passed them and headed for the entrance. It was just when my fingers got hold of the door handle when one of those scumbags started shouting all of a sudden.

“Bitch?... Who do you think you are calling my girlfriend a shallow idiot?”

I heard the dreadful sound of a slap, then I heard a girl’s scream..... I turned around instantly and saw how those guys’ leader was standing in front of a young girl that was lying on the ground.

I didn’t recognize her, but actually I didn’t really pay any attention to how she looked, since I saw only one thing. She was bleeding. I instantly started to run towards them. I couldn’t let the scumbag have it his way.

Well.... actually, I only tried to interfere. Manuel seemed to have noticed my intention and grabbed me again, pulling me back.

“What is your problem, Thomas?”, he discouraged me, “you do know those guys are way stronger than you. Not to mention they are outnumbering you. If you were to interfere here it would lead in you getting beaten up and them beating her up even more just to tease you. So please, for her sake.... drop it for now.”

I didn’t react. In fact I only looked at the scene, shocked by what has happened.

Destroyed by my own worthlessness and weakness.

I wanted to help but at the same time I knew I couldn’t.

The culprits ran. The doctor came, taking care of the girl. And still, I was standing there, not even reacting when a policeman asked me who did it.

“Sir? It is very important to answer the question. We’d appreciate every help we can get catching the culprits.”

I looked into the officer’s eyes. He, too, was worried, just as Manuel was in Bus today.

‘I keep and keep worrying people’ were my thoughts,just before Manuel started talking:

“My friend here seems to be a little shocked from what happened. You see, he can not stand violence. It distresses him. But if it’s to help, I’d be happy to answer your questions.”

“How wonderful”, answered the policeman, “Shall we be on our way then?”

Thus the two of them left, leaving me behind.

I don’t think I ever felt so useless before. Empty. Weak. Pathetic. Hopeless.

I turned around and opened the school’s front door. I ran towards the restrooms and entered.

Looking at the mirror I started to hate who I saw. “Why? Why can’t you stand up for anyone just once?”

I rammed my fist into the wall next to the mirror. Actually, I was quite sure I started bleeding then.

Not that it actually mattered to me, then.

For four years now my life has been like this. When my mom’s life was destroyed.... she pulled me down with her. Life lost all of its meaning. I lived just to live. I didn’t appreciate even a single day. All was gray for me. All color that was left was red. The red of the blood that was being shed due to those vile people every now and then.

I had enough of this. My destiny, the meaning of my life seemed to be to stand idly by while others suffered. I couldn’t take it anymore. I tried to calm my breath. I closed my eyes, deeply, slowly breathing. I was sure that the mirror started getting all foggy due to my breath. But I never expected to see what I saw, when I opened my eyes again.

The fog on the mirror formed the words:

“Have you decided? Do you want to break the shackles of your fate?”

I had no idea what was going on. Was I starting to go insane due to my self-centered guilt and despair?

Once again I tried to calm down. Then I pondered what those words meant.

What was it, that suddenly came over me? I don’t really know, to be honest. However, with a sudden surge of resolve I said: “Yes. More than anything. I want to be able to be proud of myself. I want to show the honor to defend a helpless girl that is being beaten up.” There was no one to hear my words, yet still I had the feeling that those words had to be said.

“I need to become stronger. I need to be able to help those who can’t help themselves. I can’t take their fear, their pain anymore.” Tears started rolling down my eyes. Then I placed my hands on the mirror, when suddenly I felt like something left me, while staying with me. This made me loose all strength. I collapsed. The last things I remember that happened before I fainted was a dark red, maybe violet rose that appeared in my mind out of nowhere -Those petals. For some reason they felt familiar to me- as well as a face that appeared in the mirror. Black hair, white strands. And a red fedora with a yellow-orange colored feather. The strange thing was: Just as I fainted, he started disappearing into nothingness. And even stranger was: I had the feeling that this was only the beginning.

Order’s Origins- Prologue: End