Getting Over You

Four

Tuesday 30th September

I never told you how I felt when you told me you were leaving me.

Honestly I felt thunderstruck, like you had punched me right in the gut. 

Oh my God you even said it was for my own benefit. You had the nerve to say that to me and just leave? Without an explanation what so ever. 

You'r such a jerk.

But no matter what you'll always be me jerk. 

Sitting here right now I wonder if there will be a time when I'm over you. Over your smile, the hugs you've given me, the words you've said to me. 

This is just a bunch of crap because I know i will never get over, let go of or forget about you. 

Just promise me you won't forget about us. Our conversations, our laughs, our jokes, our late night conversations, our memories and our experiences. I can promise you I won't. The day I do will be the day hell freezes over.

I just wish I knew why I care so much about you?

Maybe it's the fact that I know what you've been through the fact that I want to kiss all of your little problems away. I know I can't just fix you, but I can try. 

Maybe it's the fact that you made me believe I was actually special, you made me believe i was everything I'm not.

I know I don't have the nicest eyes.

I know I have weird hair.

I know I have some extra weight.

I know that I'm not beautiful.

I know I'm not perfect.

I know I'm insecure.

I know I'm not good enough for you.

I know I'm not good enough for your love.

I know it all.

You didn't have to lie to me because I already knew.

There was no point of trying to convince me. But in the mix of it all I did end up believing you, you'd finally convinced me that I was good enough and then you went and broke my heart.

I'm not good enough for your love.