Diversify

SCEPTICISM

How could I turn into a boy? How ? Is it me ? Is it someone else? What wizardry is this ? Is it a dream ?.
Ruby had many more questions to ask and many theories were brewing in her brain. She was scared ,confused and worst of all alone. She decided to call her friend but she thought "what if by mistake Shikha tells everyone about me in school? People would knock my door day in and out to make a laughingstock out of me."
The thought was daunting,she quickly changed her mind, even calling her mother was a bad idea she thought. Ruby had no choice but hide, close all windows and doors so that not a single beam of sun and it's warmth made way into her room. She quickly switched on her laptop and surfed Internet wildly, in hope to find what had happened and what can she do. Ruby scrolled and typed and deleted then again typed and scrolled again deleted till both her fingers and presence pained. Only thing available online was treatments and surgeries of gender exchange by will, no one just woke up one day and changed. She was uncertain about future, people outside and their comments but at the same time she was certain that this is not normal, this is not a regular thing.
The little girl was pacing about in her room trying to find a solution because she was hard and was not ready to give up so easily. Ruby immediately opened her cupboard and took out a beautiful velvet purple notebook which read aria.

Aria was the name of the notebook ruby owned since she was six. Due to her fathers work and transfers ,as a child ruby had very less friends and so her mother gave her a friend she could carry anywhere- her diary. Since that day ruby has shared all her life experiences with aria and told her friend about everything. It might be a regular purple notebook for you and me but for ruby it meant a lot. It meant life, love and so much more.

Dear aria,
Did life ever stranded you on a deserted island and changed your world tipsy turbulence? Well it happened to me today. I think we have something in common, we both carry plethora of secrets in our heart and can't contemplate whether to reveal them or not....to share a part,to open up a little bit can bring a tempest of repercussions we cannot fanthom .
My dear aria isn't it ironic that this world is home of billions of people yet I only find respite in conversing with you. I have been writing my heart out in these crispy pages of yours and you have been patient like a true mate. But this situation is different, this isn't one of my childish bouts, rants or tantrums, this is a tunnel so dark that I can't see a ray of hope penetrating in, and even if the mischievous sunlight makes its way,it unsettled me to my core, I get a spine tingling eerie that it shall unveil my secrets and convert me in a caricature for the world to mock at. Aria you are my confidant my secret keeper but can I ask you for a favour, can't you be my riddles diary and reply back? Share some words of wisdom? Conjure up some solution?
-with love
Ruby

After letting all her feelings out ruby couldn't hold it any more she was about to burst in tears. Although she was strong but now all she wanted to do was to cry and cry and fill pails of water. She felt suffocated and choked, ruby touched her face, it was dry. She looked at her face right in front of her mirror and again saw the boy. Ruby realised she couldn't cry no matter how hard she try, no matter if she begged for a drop of tear.
The girl was choking but the boy she became was trained not to shed a drop but gulp all feelings inside him quietly.
Ms. Roy now realised what she wanted to do, she got her solution.