𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐜𝐭 || 𝐙𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐧 [𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐝]

6- Why

Hayden, 18 years & 2 months old

It's December, the time of holiday festivities and joy. Yet I have none of that. So many things have changed to quickly for me to even recognize happiness.

Cole has a new girlfriend. Now I really know why he wanted to break up with me. "I've moved on." Bullshit. He just wanted to get rid of me so he could hook up with someone else. Who knows if he really loves her.

Livy saw Cole with his arms wrapped around that other girl and that's when she texted me to ask what happened. After two years she finally texted me. And to ask about my break up. I really need to get some new friends.

I learned how to play my guitar really well. Having been taught everything once before I actually had the instrument helped a lot. I started off by playing one of Zach's songs, Why. It was easy to play mostly because I helped him write the song. I remember helping him pick out chords and lyrics and listening to the song over and over again until it was perfect.

I played Zach's song but doesn't mean I wasn't pissed at him. The song is about how he loves a girl (not a specific girl) but she leaves him. How she got away from her and he wants her back. He's trying to make this right with her. He's trying to understand why she left him.

"I can't stop
Thinking 'bout you
I'm missing you and me
We used to be
I remember what you said
Trying to get that out of my head"

I reflected those lyrics back on myself. I miss us being friends. I can't stop thinking about that. He was such a big part of my childhood. I remember what he said. We'd be friends forever. Now I'm trying to get that out of my head.

Zach came home this week to see his family for Christmas. I wanted to go over and say Hi but I decided not to. We hadn't talked in so long I figured he didn't want to talk to me at all. I was fine spending my Christmas alone with my parents and my brother. But then my mom forced me to see him.

"Why don't you go over and say hello to Zach while he's here?" Mom said as she came into my room with a basket of laundry.

"Wow, I haven't heard you say that in three years," I said. I was unfazed by what she just said and I continued scrolling through Twitter on my bed.

"Come on, get up. You can go give the Herron's some of our Christmas cookies." Mom came over and pushed me off the bed.

"Fine!" I yelped as we laughed. "Fine. But you owe me."

I put the laundry by my closet and went downstairs to grab a box of cookies. It was getting late and it was already pretty dark outside. I put on some boots and bundled in a winter coat to take the box of cookies across the street.

I shuffled through the glistening snow to get to the Herron house. Their roof was neatly decorated with rainbow lights and their front door had a pretty green wreath hanging on it. I had watched them put up all the decorations from my house the day after my family put up our own decorations. Zach wasn't home yet so it was fun to see Ryan be the other man of the house and hang the lights high on the roof.

I rang the doorbell to their front door. I heard faint Christmas music being played inside. Then I heard shuffling to the front door.

"Hello?" Reese asked as she opened the door. "Hayden!" She gleamed with excitement.

"Hi, Reese!" I smiled back.

"Mom! It's Hayden!" Reese shouted to Myta who was sitting in the living room. Myta got up and greeted me at the door.

"Hi, Hayden! Come inside!"

I stepped inside from the blistering cold. Their house was so warm. I stood in the doorway and handed Myta the cookies.

"Here, my mom baked some cookies for you," I said.

"Oh, thank you!" She said as she opened the lid to the box and sniffed the sugar cookies inside.

"They smell wonderful. Thank you," she said, delighted. "Zach's not here right now, he went to the store for me. He'll be back later. Why don't you take a seat?" Myta offered.

"I'm good, thanks," I faked a sorry smile.

I wasn't that sorry. I didn't bring up Zach when I got here because I honestly didn't want to see him. I was mad at him that he never reached out to me anymore, even though he knows I live right across the street.

So I said goodbye to Myta and Reese and waddled home.

When I got home I went back up to my room and started putting away the laundry. At the bottom of my laundry pile, an old one of Zach's shirts from his merch collection from his YouNow days showed up. I don't know how it got there, I hadn't worn it in forever.

I used to wear it all the time because I was so proud of him. But now I never wear it. Just like how I used to see him all the time but now he won't even text me a hello.