Julian's POV
"I've known Claire her whole life. You think you can just waltz in and act like you know everything thing about her after a couple of months?"
"I just did." I end our ten minute argument and put the phone down. Turning around to explain to Claire why I said some of the things I said. Only to see that she's not there.
For a moment I fear that she ripped the IVs out again, but there's no blood, and those too seem to have disappeared with her. That alleviates a little bit of my panic, but I feel the need to find her. Rose comes in and starts to clean up. As soon as I open my mouth, almost as if she read my mind she looks at me. She smiles knowingly and before I even ask she asks me,
"Finally wondering where your girlfriend went?"
"Just tell me."
"I don't know what happened, but I got the look in her eyes that she wanted to be alone." She stares at me accusingly.
"I didn't do anything!" I throw my hands up.
"Hmm hmm." She crosses her arms and says, "Now I'm telling you this because Claire is pretty much my baby by now, and I want to help her help you figure it out quicker."
"Is she fine?" My eyes widen.
"Oh yes...of course she is." Rose laughs, and I snap,
"Well, sorry for worrying."
Rose only laughs harder, "How ironic is that?"
I eye her down suspiciously, "What are you talking about?"
"Nothing, nothing. Just something she said. She probably wouldn't want me to tell you anyways."
"What did she say?" Panic rises in my voice as a million possibilities run through my head about Soren, Jake, her past, Anna, where she'll be moving...
Rose goes serious with a look of understanding on her face as she tells me,
"You want her words exactly?"
"Yes."
"She said, 'Sometimes I worry he cares about me too much about me... I don't see why he even does at all, really. But I worry a lot, mostly about if I'm good enough...'"
I sit, dropping my head. She stops. I've had lies told to me, many times. And I thought dishonesty hurt the most, but the truth hurts more, especially coming from someone you love. I wouldn't have cared if it was about me, but I do care when she wonders whether or not she's good enough for me. She doesn't know some of the things I've done, and I hate that.
I hate that she doubts herself when it should be me doubting if I'm good enough for her.
"I've said enough."
With a tortured look in my eyes I ask, "Where'd she go?"
"Somewhere where she could be alone." She responds.
"Just tell me and I promise if she tells me to leave I will."
Rose cracks and says, "Outside in the courtyard." I bolt up and kiss her on the cheek,
"Thank you." I grab my jacket and walk out. When I walk through the doors, cold air hits me. I look around at the small, enclosed area. It has benches, plants, and a fountain as the grand center piece. Seeing as there's only one person other than me, I'm assuming Claire is the one casting an outlined shadow across the water.
I walk up behind her and place my jacket around her shoulders, leaning down to her ear with my hands on her shoulders as I whisper,
"It's my job to care too much, Claire." Her hand comes up and rests over mine gently, almost weakly. It's then I notice that her shoulders are shaking.
I go around and kneel in front of her. Streaks run down her face and she turns away quickly.
"What happened?" I ask nervously.
"I'm fine. Just go, You shouldn't have to see me like this." She dries her tears until it looks as if she was never crying.
"I'm worried, what's wrong?"
"I just don't feel well." She murmurs.
I sit on the ledge of the fountain and ask her, "Why not?"
"Cause I'm stressed, and the pain is just spreading to my old injuries and..." She sighs, "I'm just weak."
"What injuries?"
"From the accident." She mumbles, playing with her hands.
"What happened?"
"My spine is messed up. I got used to it. On bad days it spreads and I can't move. But most of the time it just hurts a lot." She shrugs nonchalantly.
"Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Because it doesn't matter." She sounds like she just said the most obvious thing in the world.
"You're in pain!"
"It doesn't matter!" She explodes, calming down quickly and saying, "I can take it. I've taken it for a long time now." She lays a hand on my cheek, smiling, and whispers, "Don't worry about me."
"What if its serious, Claire?"
"Then we'll find out when I'm in so much pain I kill myself." My face goes white and I freeze with my eyes on her.
"Don't even say that. Don't make me think about that." My throat gets tight and I close my eyes.
"Jules... I'm sorry." She strokes my cheek and whispers, "I didn't mean it." I grab her wrist and stare at her when I say,
"Then promise me...that you would never." I growl.
"Of course not! No!" But her voice falters.
"Promise me." I demand intently.
"I promise." I let go of her wrist and she rubs it. "I'm sorry." Her voice trembles. I lean over and bow my head on my arms.
"I wouldn't be able to stand it if you died, Claire."
"Everyone dies. It has to happen." She says calmly.
"But not before your time!" I yell, standing up.
Slowly, she stands up, "There's so many people going before their time, Jules..." She pauses, looking to the starless sky before continuing, "And sometimes death is easier to accept."
My shoulders slump and I step back. "You wouldn't...You promised." I say, fear building inside of me.
She looks at me and just smiles slyly, hiding something. I tense and look down. Then she says, "Why would I do that..." Excitement leaks into her words,
"When we still have to go see London together?" My head snaps up and I stare at her, her bright smile spreading to me. I sit forward and grab her arms,
"Are you serious?" She nods. Without any warning, I wrap my arms around her and pick her up, spinning her around.
"Jules, be careful!" She squeals. I set her down gently and kiss her. Still holding her, I move her hair out of her face so I can see her eyes better. I hold my hand to her cheek.
"Really?" I ask, still in disbelief. She laughs and says,
"Yes!"
"You...are...amazing." Thats all I can say, and I mean it in so many ways. She can fix all my doubts in one sentence, light up a room with her smile, make you think about things you thought were incomprehensible... I kiss her again and she smiles, shrugging and laughing,
"I know."
