[johnnys pov]
wednesday, december 6th.
1 month later...
ever since kenzie told me i was leading them both on, i changed my perspective. i don't want to be a player. so as a result, i haven't directly talked to nadia or kenzie at all this week, which is nearly impossible considering we're in the same group. i've been limiting talking to both of them, honestly, because i've spent the last month trying to figure out what i want. i don't know. at one point, i was so head over heels for kenzie. then, my feelings for nadia were stronger. now, me and nadia are on "good terms" as we say, but it's still not the same. as for me and kenzie? definitely not on the best terms, but getting better slowly. still, when i see her, i just wish we were okay again. somehow, its harder for us to get back to what we used to have than it was for me and nadia.
today, me and lauren are giving hayden a ride to school. i pull up in front of his house and honk. lauren makes a small sound of protest- she hates the noise. i shrug. hayden runs outside and into the backseat.
"hey." he says. lauren and i greet him, and then i start driving to school. hayden lives super close, so usually he walks. in fact, ever since he and annie started dating, they've been walking together. i almost ask why he isn't walking with her today, but then i remember the day i gave nadia a ride and hayden and annie both looked upset. that was almost a month ago. and now that i think of it, they've definitely been less talkative and hanging out less when we hang out as a group.
i pull into a parking space, and lauren hops out almost immediately, spotting some of her friends. "bye y'all!" she waves, and runs off. hayden starts to open the door, but i stop him.
"wait. i have a question." i say. hayden actually flinches, surprised.
"what's up?"
"what's going on with you and annie?" i ask, turned around in my seat to face him. his face falls.
"oh. right. i guess you would've noticed. um, we're not really together anymore. i think."
"wait, what?" i was not expecting that. "what happened?"
"about a month ago, i was at her house. we were watching a movie and cuddling and she was being so cute and i just..." he trails off, looking embarrassed. "i told her i loved her."
"woah." i never knew hayden was capable of falling in love. it's always been girl after girl for him.
"yeah, and she was all 'this is moving too fast,' and i tried to take it back but she said she needed time to figure out what she needs right now, and what the fuck does that even mean?" hayden's rambling now. he pauses to exhale. "i mean... i love her. i just want to be with her."
"hayden..." i don't know what to say. "if she doesn't come back for you, she's missing out. you deserve better than her."
"yeah, whatever." he looks uncomfortable. "thanks, man."
"yeah, no problem." i say. hayden still looks sad. i wish i knew what to say to him. "hey, it'll get better, okay? i'm here for you."
"thank you." he says quietly. "okay, let's go, come on."
"alright." i say. we get out of the car and talk as if our conversation in the car never happened. instead, we talk about my weird love triangle.
