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"You're funny, Archie."
I promise you, I'm not a slut.
When I, Teresa Josephine Bardot, was eleven years old, I'd never expected that, on my twenty first birthday, millionaire, bachelor Archie McMahon would be balls deep inside my vagina.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Archie. F'ucking. McMahon.
Let me backtrack for a moment.
September 24th, 2018
"Hey, TJ, I'm gonna go grab another round, you want?" Ricky asked me, snapping me out of my daydream as I nursed a near empty bottle of beer between my hands.
To me, it was a miracle that the fake ID I had gotten in a back alley in Chinatown had worked at one of the most popular college bars near NYU.
"Um.." I thought for a second, before taking one final drink from my bottle and setting it down with a clink. "Yes, I would love another round."
Before I knew it, Ricky and I were almost completely wasted. Well, Ricky was. I blessed my Irish roots for giving me a higher alcohol tolerance than him.
"I'm calling your friend a cab, he doesn't look so hot," the bartender gave me a heads up, as Ricky sat at the bar drinking a glass of water that he had forced on him.
"I'm fiiiine, I'm telling you, I'm fine." He deepened his voice with the intention of sounding more sober, but only wound up sounding more plastered than he already was.
"Ricky, go home. I already texted Max, he's waiting for you." I placed my hand on his back and he leaned over, giving my cheek a sloppy, wet kiss.
"We should date, Tess, why don't we date?" He mumbled, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"We tried that last semester, babe, you know we're better off as friends." I giggled and gently ran my fingers through his hair.
"Hey, hon? The cab's outside." The bartender smiled gently at me and I helped Ricky stand up and begin to walk towards the door. I helped him into the back of the cab and was about to climb in after him, but then I realized my purse and jacket were still inside.
"I'll be right back, I have to grab my purse." I told Ricky, and quickly walked back inside to collect my belongings. When I returned back outside, the cab, and Ricky, were both gone. "F'uck!" I whined, stomping my foot like a child.
