The Disband - A BTS ff

memories

I have been called horrible things by my parents, my classmates, my brothers, and on top of that also my relatives. I felt sad. I felt depressed. I felt the need of killing myself. School stressed me so much, the performance tasks, projects, I just wanted to end everything here and there. I started to do self harm because of that, but my only friends, the only friends I had, they didn't even took me seriously. they thought of me as a joke. no one really cared. so I decided to take all of it in, never telling anyone cause they wouldn't care anyways do what's the point of telling someone my darkest secret if they wouldn't even give a shit. I hated myself, seeing myself at the mirror, whenever I make mistakes I think everyone thinks of me badly for the smallest mistakes. but then, I found BTS. and that day on, they told me something. their words of wisdom, their strive for us to love ourselves, their music spoke to me. they gave me hope, and I felt happier when I found them. they encouraged me to love myself, and guess what, I now do. I'm still learning how to though. I stopped self harming and took everything positively. they helped me in ways no oje could. not even my family. they don't know me but they were actually the very important people i have in my life rn. i felt happier, i loved myself, i started to learn fangirling and met new internet friends. I socialized more. but the problem was, my parents didn't support me of what i love, they thought I had failing marks because of BTS but no; it was actually the people surrounding me. I wish I had a voice like Namjoon's, to encourage self love to everyone, to tell the bashers and my family someday that "Mom! Dad! They helped me to love myself, because of them I am happy! I am not depressed anymore!" but I know I can't, cause they won't believe me.

But now ive passed, gone from home ill look down onmy daughter as she grows to be a strong heathy woman.