Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan - Without Thinking

Chapter 18 - True Colors

Author's note: Hi guys! Sorry for the wait. It's not for lack of inspiration. Just a simple lack of time. I'm getting a new puppy soon, so I've been away to visit a lot. So cute!

Extra long chapter! Mostly because my one, simple note "add a make-out scene" turned into a monster, lol. Hope you enjoy.

~***~

I should probably break it off.

Saiki chewed on the back of his pencil, immersed in his thoughts. That thought again. It had been nagging him constantly this past week.

He hadn't acted on it yet. He'd promised her, after all. He knew it would be the wisest choice, though.

Well, it would have been. If he hadn't let it come this far in the first place. At this point, she would most likely trigger him regardless of their... their... status. Whatever that was, anyway.

Still, though. He just couldn't think of a scenario that would end well. He had yielded, hoping there would be another way to seal his powers again. He wasn't so sure anymore. It would take his brother a while to travel back to earth, and even then his chances were slim. Besides, Saiki wasn't even sure he could wait that long. It had only been a week and his powers were already becoming stronger. And not just that. They were also becoming more volatile, despite the training he was doing with her. Or perhaps because of? Who knew.

He might have to come to terms with the fact that his powers were back, and that they were to stay. Which meant that he would have to re-adopt his former strategy. Stay out of trouble. Don't stand out. Be normal.

All of that was virtually impossible if he continued his involvement with the immensely popular, other-worldly beautiful Teruhashi Kokomi. Saiki sighed deeply.

Only a fool would risk everything for a mere high school girl.

I guess I am a fool.

Rationally it still made no sense to him. But then he would see her walking down the hall, or he'd hear her voice, or even just think of her, and...

Well, it still made no sense then, but he'd stop thinking rationally at least.

Saiki shook his head, still chewing on the end of his pencil. She was always on his mind nowadays, so his reason had pretty much gone out the window. It would upset her, but he really should bring an end to it before it was too late. She was muddling his mind. He was heading towards disaster. The course of action was clear, really. There was just one problem.

I don't want to.

Just the mere thought of losing her again made him sick to his stomach. He didn't want to say no anymore.

He still didn't understand half of the emotions that had surfaced recently, but towering above them all was this overwhelming feeling of euphoria. It really made no sense. He was in huge trouble and yet he felt phenomenal. Saiki clenched his teeth in an attempt to keep himself from grinning like an idiot. He nearly bit off the end of his pencil doing so.

It was still a little weird. He wasn't good with affection. At all. Never cared for it. He was bad at receiving it and even worse at giving it. He didn't even know how to. He'd frozen more than once from her sudden hugs and caresses recently, feeling like a computer throwing up a blue screen. Cannot process, please reboot.

And still, it had been... nice. Really nice. Okay, fine — it had been fantastic. To be with her again. He may have missed her company more than he'd cared to admit. She was clever and witty and made the best cake in town. She was exhilarating and soothing at the same time. She brightened the dull, depressing autumn days. He'd started looking forward to doing homework again, because he'd be doing it with her. Anything was exciting, as long as she was a part of it.