My horrible attempts at poetry

Moments like these

Sometimes I don't understand.

How you can be so close yet so far away.

You mention her in everything you say.

Why can't you see past her to me?

Today we were at a fast food place with everyone.

I sat alone at a table eating silently watching everyone.

I looked over at you and caught your eyes. You smiled and raised your eyebrows playfully. I laughed and freaked out a little inside. I grabbed my phone for security.

You looked away.

I stayed there watching as someone else got their food and sat across from you.

I looked down to grab a fry.

When I looked back up you and him were there across from me with your food.

You smiled at me and I smiled back.

I was surprised you came over but I know it was probably only because you pitied me for being alone.

Sometimes in these moments I wonder if anyone really cares or if they just pity me.

Did you actually care? Or were you only pitying me for being alone?

Was it even you who made the decision to come near me or was it the other guy telling you that I felt lonely?

I don't know what to think.

I feel like when we were talking you saw right through me. I felt that you saw the broken girl inside me dying to come out.

I swear you saw me about to break.

I swear you saw that the smile on my face didn't reach my eyes.

But you won't mention it. Why would you?

You barley know me. And I barley know you. But for some reason I like you.

In moments like these, though I know I'm not nearly good enough for you.

I know I will never be her.

I will never be pretty or skinny.

In these moments I feel the worst because I know I'm just a shadow of the people I know.

I'm only there in the background watching you as you describe things.

I'm that invisible girl who stands alone in a sea of people.

The girl everyone pitys.

The girl who will never be enough.

The girl who Cherishes moment like these because it means there's a chance that you care.
Even if that chance is one in one million.