Have you got a crush on anyone? What is the feeling? Do you feel nervous when he or she comes near you? Is it a nerve-wracking feeling when he or she says hi to you? Well, it is just normal to have a crush on somebody. Every normal person experiences that! There’s no need to fear! But, as they say, too much love can kill you. Beware of showing too much of your feelings; you might end up getting hurt in the end.
The boy I got a crush with can be compared to a prince, the prince of darkness I guess. Despite of his good looking appearance, he is a demon. That description is too much, but what can I do, that is what my heart dictates.
Many pretty girls and hundreds of not so pretty just like me got a crush on him. The worst part is, he is aware of the situation and he act like “don’t know, don’t care”. I am so pissed off but still my heart says “keep calm, my dear, you do love him”. I am head over heels in love with this guy. Let me name this guy as HADES. For HADES, we are friends.
What he means by that is that we are friends when it comes to brain but not in a mutual way like what friends are. To keep it simple, he is a jerk who used me as one of his toys that he can rely on especially when it comes to school matters. Oh how I hate him for doing that!
Sometimes I act like a fool especially when he is around just to make him happy. You could have mistaken me for a clown when you had seen me done it. But gosh! I don’t really mind. His smile is worth my sacrifice. Maybe that is the reason why I am immune to insults nowadays. I am really thankful but sorrowful. In order to get close to him, I act like a tomboy. It is not hard on my part to act like one but for my family, it was.
My mother had scolded me so many times for not wearing the prescribe school uniform; instead, I chose to wear big shirts that made me look even bigger. What can I do? This person always smile when he sees me wearing those “jologs” outfits. I don’t care what those smiles mean whether it is a form of an insult, ridicule, or a much gentler way of making fun of me as he is paying his attention to me with an extra effort of a priceless smile. I am totally foolish!
There was one time when he asked me to copy the writings on the board on his notebook. I asked him with a shocking reaction, “On your notebook?” He said, “Yes, on my notebook. Where do you think it should be written?”
I thought that at that time, I am the luckiest person in the whole world. But, because I do have some pride in myself I gathered up some courage to reject his offer. “But my notebook is still blank. I have to write something too.” It is the best thing I could tell him. Sheesh! It’s not a form of rejection, am I right? That’s all I could say.
Then, my heart began to throb faster and louder as I saw him thinking. “He is thinking of me”, that’s what my mind keeps shouting at the moment. After a while, his lips moved mumbling something I couldn’t hear because my excitement had blocked my eardrum. I thought I heard him said, “I love you” so I shouted and asked him, “What? What did you say? I did not hear it”. Just then, my delusions had collapsed when he repeated what he actually said. “I said let me write in your notebook for you”. My ambitious nature had awed me. I did not expect that I would act like that just because of a man, a man who does not deserve a woman with a caliber like me, a man who is a trash in reality compared to me.
My unfortunate fate had not ended because of loving a person like him. When I could not hold on my feelings for, I sought for another remedy; my so-called friends. I told them I got a crush a crush on him, to HADES, and just as what I had expected, they took pity on me. However, instead of feeling relieved. I felt more uneasy.
The unluckiest day of my life had come. HADES would not look straight into my eyes. It seems like he is angry at me. When it was almost lunch time, our teacher left us to take care of some business outside. HADES got his chance! With closed fist, he went straight to my desk and confronted me. “What did you told them? You got a crush on me! That face? With tons of pimples growing and it seems there are no spaces left to fill? That rotten face of yours dared to have a crush on me? Yuck! Even if you are the only girl left in this world, I would never have a crush on you! It is impossible!” It seems my mind was smashed to smithereens, it’s so hard to breathe, and I nearly collapsed. I was thankful that my brain was not completely dominated by my heart. I stopped my tears from flowing. Duh! I was already beaten in the face and I will just let myself get beaten again by this tears! Before I took my walk-out, I made my defeated revenge. “Are you the only boy left in this world?” I ran as fast as I could and cried to my heart’s content.
I made my own reflections on what happened. I am really a fool to fall in love to that man. The most stupid thing I have done is to let my heart decide and put my brain aside to watch. The humiliation I had received from him was so degrading that it had changed my over-all view in life. I became a negative thinker, too playful, trouble-maker, liar, insensitive and many other negative effects. He not only crushed my heart, but also my life. I gave my all. I totally crash-landed into his heart that’s why I am so crushed by the kind of act he had put up to me.
The say having a crush is normal. But, is it normal for a girl to get hurt deeply because of that? Yeah, it is true. Things that are too much can cause pain. Life is unfair!
If you got a crush on someone, be sure to keep the risk low. You do not know what might hit you next! It is better to keep it to yourself and never be vulgar of your feelings. If you got a crush on somebody, use your brain. Make him your inspiration to achieve your goal. To all those who have crushes, it is better to follow your head than to be taken away by the flood of emotions. Hold on, guys! It will just pass away. Let the wind blow that feign love of yours and move on to have a better life. Keep your heads up! We all have our own destiny, our true love. Just wait! There is no harm in waiting.
#MAE R. ENTENA J
A/N: P.S THIS IS A TRUE TO LIFE STORY THAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY FRIEND. SHE WANTS ME TO PUT HER STORY HERE BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR COMMENTS GUYS. PLS VOTE AND COMMENT PLEASE. :D
