After the End (Julian and MC)

2

I sit with Julian in silence for a while, frowning and looking down at my drink. My mind goes to Asra, and I find myself wondering what became of him. Is he alright? Is he alive? Is he safe? I wish I knew. He was my friend, and for a long time, he was the only person I had... He brought me back from death, he gave up half of his heart for me.

"I suppose if you think about it, all of this is Asra's fault." I sigh, smiling despite the pain in my chest as I blink away tears.

"How so?" Julian wonders, arching an eyebrow at me.

"He left me, I got sick, I died. He couldn't just let me rest in peace, he had to bring me back. If he'd left things as they were, none of this would've happened." I answer, throwing my cup down and letting it smash on the floor as my temper flares. Another appears beside me, and I sigh as I snatch it up and refill it.

Julian remains silent, listening with mild interest as he watches me drink.

"If he'd just left things alone, Lucio wouldn't have had a body to steal, and the Devil wouldn't have been able to complete his ritual. Damn Asra, he brought me back without really knowing what he was doing, and put everyone else in danger." I seethe, shattering the cup in my hand and letting the broken glass flutter to the ground like snow.

"But if Asra hadn't brought you back, I'd never have found the truth, and I might've hung for something I was innocent of." Julian points out, finishing his drink before refilling it again. "And... I'd have never met you." He smiles, meeting my eyes.

I shake my head and rest my forehead on my palm, sniffing as tears roll down my cheeks. "If you hadn't met me, you would still be drinking in the Rowdy Raven and dropping in on Mazelinka. You might still be missing memories, and you might still be a fugitive, but at least you'd have been relatively happy." I point out, wiping my cheeks as I lift my head to look at him again.

Julian frowns at me, slowly setting his cup down on the bar beside him. "I know how easy it is to slip into the blame game, but it doesn't do any good to dwell on the past. What's done is done, remember? At least we're together now, right?" He reminds me, holding his hand out for me.

With a sigh, I set down my own cup and stand, taking Julian's hand and sitting in his lap. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, relaxing as my chest presses against his. Julian slips his arms around my waist, holding me close as he rests his head on my shoulder. Despite the feathers that brush against my skin, if I close my eyes, I can pretend he's the man he was before.

I didn't lie when I told him that I'd love him no matter what he looked like, but I can't help missing how he used to look. He was so handsome, so charming... He's broken now, that bastard Devil broke him... I wanted to take revenge when I first got here, but Julian was so terrified for me, I couldn't do it to him. I couldn't cause him anymore pain, I still can't. Sometimes I still want to find the others and fight the Devil, but the desire fades when Julian begs me not to.

Being this close to him, I find it easier to relax. He doesn't hold me like he used to. He still thinks that I'm disgusted by him. He's wrong. I love him, but he's ashamed of how he looks. He doesn't touch me every chance he gets like he once did, he only holds me when one of us gets emotional.

It breaks my heart to see him so worn down. I love him so much, it hurts when I see the defeat in his eyes. I move back to look at him, slowly cupping his face and stroking his lightly feathered cheek with my thumb.

"I love you." I breathe, kissing his forehead and briefly closing my eyes.

Julian smiles at me when I move back to look at him again, his eyes softening for me. "I love you too." He whispers, staring at me for a moment before kissing at my neck.

I smile to myself and hold him close, biting down on my lower lip as he nips along my collarbones. He trails kisses up my neck and back to my lips, holding me into a long and lingering kiss. When he moves back to look at me, I see something different in his eyes. Something that disappears after a moment, but was definitely there.

Hope.