Maybe there's hope for us after all

Chapter 2; Let Us Help You

--Chris’s POV--

As her eyes fluttered shut her mouth opened as though she was about to say something else, then all of a sudden her eyes popped open and she rolled to the other side of the bed, grabbing for the trashcan. After she emptied her stomach, she took a breath, wiped her mouth, took a swig of water from the bottle on the table and spit it out into the trash.

“Ugh, sorry you had to see that. Guess those are the side effects of taking too many pills. Or, not enough in my opinion.” Her voice sounded more clear now, and she was still leaning over the side of the bed and staring at the ground.

“I’d say that you took too many pills Tori. How many did you take?” James knew more about this sort of thing than David and Chris, seeing as though they were the only three who knew about his failed suicide attempts.

“Oh, a few dozen… maybe thirty. I lost track. It was a long night. I guess seeing as its almost ten-thirty I got about four or five hours of sleep.” Tori was sort of rambling, yet when she stopped talking she laid back down on the bed, closed her eyes and placed her arm over her eyes then continued talking, “Yea, sorry about all this. But why are you three here? Not that I don’t appreciate it, but honestly, you’re making things harder by being here right now.” Her words hurt, but I knew she was still trying to sort through her feelings. Hell, I had finally figured out mine a few days ago. But I had to tell her that. She needed to hear this now.

“Look Tori, I know you probably don’t want to hear this right now, hell you probably don’t even want to be talking to me, but I need to say this, if not for me then for you,” I said, my voice sounding pleading. “I love you. I love you, Victoria Rosemary Sanford. I love the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you smile. I love the way you roll your eyes when you’re not impressed, the way you play with your hair when you’re bored. I love the way you’re obsessed with bands, the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about your dreams. I love the way you run, the way you’re so obsessed with soccer, the fact that we play the same position. I can see more than you think I can. I can tell that you don’t think you’re beautiful, or good enough. I love you, and I want to be the one who makes you feel beautiful, I want to be the one who finally makes you realize you are good enough, and that you’re perfect. I love you and everything about you and I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you.” By the end of my confession, I had stood up and walked to the other side of the bed to try and get a better look at the girl of my dreams. She hadn’t moved since I started talking, and it seemed like she had been holding her breath. I decided to get to the point of all this. “I just needed you to know that. I know I hurt you pretty bad, and I’ve probably been fucking with your feelings a lot lately, but you’re one of the only people who understands me, who gets what I’ve gone through, who can relate. If you don’t even want to talk to me again I’ll understand….” As I trailed off, I saw a tear slide down her cheek. I had made her cry once again. Why was I such an idiot!

She removed her arm from over her eyes, and with her eyes still closed, she sat up. Where her left wrist had been laying there was fresh blood stains, as though she hadn’t stopped bleeding since she created the marks on her pale skin. She opened her eyes and looked at the stain, mumbling curses as she stood up and grabbed a tissue from the box on the table by her bed. James and David just stood on the other side of her room, staring at him and Tori.

“Tori… please say something….” I was pleading now. I needed to hear her voice say it would be okay. Hell, I just needed to hear her voice. As soon as I said this, she froze, the tissue pressed against her wrist as she reached for what looked like a band aid. She slowly straightened up and turned to look at me, her beautiful blue-gray eyes shone with unshed tears.

“Say something? You want me to say something, after you pour your heart out to me about how much you supposedly love me, when all you’ve done is break my heart! I love you, I want to help you, but all you’ve done is push me away! You haven’t talked to me in months and then you come here and do this?! You have no right damn it!” By this time she had leaned in extremely close to my face. Even though Tori was several inches shorter than me, she still managed to look at me at eye level. I couldn’t say anything. The only thing I could think about was how close her face was to mine, and how badly I wanted to kiss her, to hold her in my arms and tell her she would be alright, even if I wasn’t.

I finally found my voice and whispered, “I know. I’m a total dick and I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve half the people in my life, and I don’t deserve any of the good things that happen to me. I don’t have the right to be here and telling you all of this, but it needed to happen. We both know that, Victoria.” I couldn’t believe I just said that, but it was true.

Tori sighed, deflated, and closed her eyes as her shoulders slumped. She opened her eyes and put the band aid on her wrist, and stood in front of me staring at our feet. The next thing I knew, she had wrapped her slender arms around my torso and pressed herself against me, her head against my chest. I was shocked at first but quickly wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin on the top of her head. Tori began to cry again and I rubbed circles on her back to try and calm her. She began to sob harder and I realized that she just needed a shoulder to cry on. I sat us on the edge of her bed, with her in my lap. James and David came around and sat on either side of me and tried to help calm her.

"It'll be okay Tori. You'll be okay. Everything will be okay in the end." David whispered to her as I held her. I hated seeing her like this. It killed me. I knew it killed James and David too.

The four of us were as close as a group of friends could be. James, David and I had met Tori in eighth grade, and we had grown extremely close. We each had a class with her, and we all loved her. James and David had always been like over protective brothers to her, but her and I had always had something more. We frequently flirted, and I knew she had liked me. I had liked her too, she was amazing. She was perfect for me. Our friends described us as the same person, but in different bodies.

"Tori... We love you. We know how hard you have it, and we want to help you. I know how hard it's going to be to stop, but you have to. For me, for James, for Chris. We want you to get better...." David trailed off as her sobs calmed. She was still sitting in my lap, my arms around her with her head against my chest while her hands rested in her lap. David was rubbing calming circles into her back and James was holding her hand. I was stroking her hair, my chin still on her head. Tori's crying was silent now, the tears still streaming down her face, and she just sat and stared at her hands before speaking up.

"I'm sorry guys. You know I hate dumping my problems on you. I just don't know what to do. I love you three too. I know I need to stop, but I don't know if I want to...." I couldn't believe she was saying this. She knew she needs help, but she doesn't know if she wants it? Well, I know the three of us are going to be the ones to show her that she wants to get better.

"Victoria. You need to get better. You both do. Chris has been hiding how often he does it from you, but I guess you've been hiding it too. You two need to get better, and stop. I've been there, I know how hard it can get, but in the end it's worth it and you feel so much better. We're all here for you, and we are going to do whatever it takes to get you two better. So let us help you." James ended his speech while looking into Tori's eyes intently, then looking into mine. Tori and I looked from James to each other, and in that moment, I knew we both knew we would travel this road, the four of us together.

A/N HEY GUYS. Sorry it took so long to update, I was stuck on what to do for this chap and I felt like I needed to get things rolling. School's started so uploads will be slower and stuff.... And my laptop hates me so it will probably stop working once in a while. But gimmie feedback! I wanna know what you guys think! Comment, vote, something!

Thanks for reading though <3