Maybe there's hope for us after all

Chapter 3; A New Start

--James's POV--

After my speech to Tori and Chis, we sent David to check for Tori's sister, Grace. She had left as soon as the three of us arrived, and left a note for Tori. David returned with the note and handed it to Tori who read it out loud.

"Dear Icky Vicy, I know better than to stick around when you have friends over, so I walked over to London's. Don't make a mess, see you in a few hours. Grace. Well she sure knows how to avoid me at all costs. Jeez." Tori made a face at the note and threw it away.

"Okay so uh, what do we do now?" David knew they only had a short period of time before Tori's parents got home.

"Well I have to get ready so you three go downstairs and watch a movie or something." David and I stood up, Tori got off of Chris's lap and they both stood. I still hadn't let go of Tori's hand, so I used that to pull her into a tight hug. I leaned my head down to whisper in her ear.

"Don't you ever do that to me again. Never. I know what it's like, so please don't be afraid to come to me, or any of us." With that I let her go. Tori was like a sister to me. I couldn't loose her. Not like that. I had come too close to ending it all, but these three people had stopped me. They  had seen me through my darkest times and I was determined to see them through their's.

--Tori's POV--

'Fat. Ugly. Worthless. Look at them, why are they here? They feel bad for you that's why. They don't care. Who would? You're insane. You worthless pig. You don't deserve them.' The voices whispered in my head. They were always there. Always taunting me. Always putting me down, as if my family didn't already do that enough.

"Okay go on, I gotta shower." I pushed the three boys out of my room and began to close the door. Then Chris put is hand on the door knob and we stood like that until the other two were downstairs.

"Tori, you know how much I care about you. Can things just go back to normal? I miss us." Chris leaned in as he whispered. He moved his arm and slid it around my waist and pulled me to him, still looking into my eyes. I stared back into his, getting lost in the copper colored orbs. I nodded, and felt his hand on the small of my back, his thumb stroking the skin there. I was still in my sports bra, but it felt nice, being this close to him. When we were this close, the voices stopped. When any of the guys were close to me, the voices stopped.

Chris leaned down towards me. I knew he was going to try an kiss me, but I didn't want that yet. I wanted to take things slow and make sure they were going to last.

"Chris," I breathed out, "Chris not yet. I want to take things slow." He just looked into my eyes and nodded, hugging me instead. I hugged him back, enjoying the way our bodies fit perfectly together. I detached myself from him, because I knew that if I didn't soon, we would stay like that for a long time. He looked into my eyes one last time and joined the guys downstairs.

I walked into the bathroom right next to my room and got a towel from under the sink. I stared at myself in the mirror as the voices continued to float around my head. Worthless. Pathetic. Fat. Ugly. These and more were being whispered to me. I studied the girl in the mirror. She looked exhausted, sickly pale, and completely deprived of hope. Her eyes looked dead and Her face looked worn. She was a mess, and I knew the girl was me. I shook my head, almost as though to rid myself of the voices, and started the shower. I undressed and got into the warm water. I went through my usual routine for my hair and washed my face. My razor was sitting on a shelf and I just stared at it. I wanted to do it again, but I knew I couldn't without the boys seeing. They would probably check me when I got downstairs anyway.

I reached my hand out half way for it anyway and stopped myself. My hand was shaking, my cuts from the previous night stung, and my breathing was irregular. I closed my eyes, dropped my arm to my side, and got out of the shower. I dried myself off and dried my hair with the towel. I wrapped it around me and walked into my room. The boys were still downstairs so I closed and locked my door. I released the towel and went to get dressed. I put on my black Of Mice And Men tank and a pair of black shorts, since it was still warm out.

I brushed out my hair and went downstairs to see what the guys were up to. When I reached the main level I turned and saw in the living room my boys watching Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. We all loved the movie, and could quote it by heart. I walked over to the couch they were all sitting on and they looked up at me. I had put my normal amount of bracelets back on, along with the watch I normally wear. I smiled at them and put my hands on my hips as I stood in front of them. "Now, where am I supposed to sit?" The boys took up the whole couch, and I didn't want to sit alone. They looked at each other and made room between David and Chris for me.

We soon were quoting the movie word for word, even singing the songs. We weren't that great, but hey, we had fun. I had missed my boys. Soon I leaned my head onto Chris' shoulder and he intertwined our fingers under the blanket we were using. The movie ended and I looked at the clock. My Dad would be home soon an he could NOT find the guys here. I watched the guys stand up and stretch as they yawned. I smiled to myself, they were so adorable. They turned to me and I reached out my arms for them to pull me up. I smiled as they rolled their eyes, I always did this. They helped me up, and the voices got a little louder. This time they were just talking about my weight. I blocked them out as best as I could and looked at my guys.

"I'm hungry," David whined, and the other two agreed. They looked at me to see what I thought.

"Well my dad's going to be home soon so we would have to go out. Let me grab money and my car keys and we can leave." I smiled at them and dashed up the stairs. I was not about to eat anything. I had gone two days already, seeing as I didn't have a soccer game this weekend and I had practice on Wednesday. Today was Saturday, and it would be my third day without food. I could make it. I grabbed some money and my keys from my dresser and went back down stairs.

They guys looked me over as I put my wallet in my pocket and spun my keys around my finger. I smiled my best smile at them and motioned for them to follow me. I quickly wrote a note to my dad that said I went out with some friends and Grace was at London's. I got into my car after closing the garage door and drove off, James in the passenger seat with Chris and David in the back.

We quickly took a poll for where we wanted to go and we decided Wendy's drive through then eating at the park. Each of the boys ordered large burger meals and I got a small french fry. I then drove us to the park down the street. It was quiet and empty today, and we sat and ate. I more or less looked like I was eating, occasionally sneaking fries from my container into the boys' and kept the conversation up and energized. I noticed that Chris wasn't eating his food and then it hit me. He wasn't eating either. He did look thinner, paler and more boney than he had a few months back. Damn. I would have to talk to him about this later. I realized I had zoned out and snapped back to the conversation.

"So Tori, Chris, what are we going to do about this?" James had a very serious look on his face and I knew instantly what he was talking about.

"I don't really know... I think throwing them away is a good start... You guys made me throw them away last week... Right? My days have been really blurring together. Its been so long since last time." Chris was studying the wooden table as he spoke. When he voiced the last part his brows furrowed. I was sitting on his left and slipped my right hand into his under the table. He squeezed my hand and I gently ran my finger under his bracelets to feel the scars and more prominent healing cuts. I look at David and Chris.

"I should throw them away... or you guys can help me with that when we head back to my house. It's almost one so my dad should be gone soon. Actually, my parents are going to be gone tonight and Grace is staying over at May's house.... You guys could spend the night at my place." we used to do that a lot, spend the night at each other's houses. But I could only stay the night if the adults weren't home. Which happened a lot. As soon as I said they could spend the night my boys cheered and had huge smiles on their faces.

"Absolutly," James said with a huge smile on his face. It had been a long time since the guys had stayed at my house. Chris looked at me with excitement in his eyes and a little bit of sadness. He hugged me ad we cleaned up and left to get their stuff.

A/N I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET THIS UP. I've been SUPER busy with school and soccer, but the marking period is over now and I know that I'm passing so yay ^.^ I hope you all enjoyed~