Icy Blue Fire (An Assassin Story)

Harsh Dark Snow

January, 199x

Gentousan, Hokkaido, Japan

At the sight of the boys running across the ice-covered lake, Arashi stopped in midstride and watched them with longing eyes. The bundles of dry sticks weighed heavily at his arms. Weight of shame. Weight of anger. Weight of all the worldly things he didn't have but others had taken for granted.

He wanted to play with them. If he was the 'it', catching the others would be a piece of cake. He was used to running, walking and climbing -- his legs were strong. He was strong. However, it was not his right to have that luxury. He was poor. Those were kids from the wealthier neighborhood. Their kinds never mingled. Even if Arashi had the time, they wouldn't let him join them.

His skinny little fingers clutched his worn-out backpack straps as if he could transfer the desire out of his system that way. His tummy grumbled. It was almost dinner, and he had to come back home. His mother was sick, and his younger sister Fuu couldn't handle the house chores by herself. He had enough wood to last some warmth till tomorrow afternoon.

I can't afford to play, Arashi thought to himself soberly, until haha gets better and I earn enough money to buy Fuu new socks.

Reluctantly, he marched away and took the only path to his village, a rocky, dangerous trail cutting through the mountains. Not that he wasn't used to it. In fact, he had a medallion of scars and scratches thanks to the slippery excuse of a road. 

"Tadaima!" he said as he entered his house. It was nothing more than a plain and old cabin, but when Fuu's smile greeted him, the place could be a palace for all he cared.

"Okae-ri nasai!" his younger sister greeted as she ran to hug him. He kissed the top of her black hair. Her cherubic face grinned like he was the next best thing to dolls and cakes. "How's school, onii-san? Did you have fun? Did you learn a great deal today? Will you teach me after I'm done with the dishes?"

His six-year old sister was supposed to be in first grade this year, but since they couldn't afford sending her even to a public school, he decided to tutor her himself.

"I listened well today. Do you mind history?" he smiled.

She pretended to think. "I think- I think I looooved history! Are there ninja's this time? Or samurai?"

He laughed at her. "Boo, wrong guess. It's about the spread of Buddhism."

He kicked his shoes and placed them on the rack before entering the halls. Their mother was neither in the kitchen nor in her room. "Where's haha?"

"She went to the herbal woman."

For an eight year old boy like him, it was difficult to earn money to feed his family. Being an errand boy in the bakery wasn't enough, even if the owner would let him keep the crumbs, scraps and burned bread after his shift.

Their mother's poor health couldn't be sustained with pharmacy medicines. Most of the time, she had to rely on the grace of the herbal woman who lived at the edge of their small village. Arashi was told that the old woman was a witch, but he didn't care as long as his mother would be okay.

"Can you help me stack the wood?"

"Can I get a hot bath tonight?" Fuu grinned adorably. Her coal black eyes shone with excitement. For someone of their status, warm water was a luxury. 

"Of course, Fuu. Of course." I guess I'll have to look for more wood tomorrow morning.

They ate stale bread that night. Both of them waited for their mother's return, but soon Fuu was too tired and fell sound asleep. Arashi patiently waited till the break of dawn watching over their mother's cold dinner, but when the first stroke of light filtered through their windows, he became worried. This had never happened before.