When Sydney Sherwood was thirteen, she fell in love. She was utterly enamoured with Carter Pearson - the cute, enigmatic, brilliant fourteen year old who lived across the street. But, after only a few months, Carter and his family disappeared, leavi...
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It was startling how easily Carter could disappear from my life. At one point I seemed to stumble upon him around every corner, whereas now it was as though we were once again thousands of miles apart. I was fairly certain he was avoiding me. Three weeks passed and the only connection I had with him was by checking his social media. Where he had once been my present - possibly even my future - he was now strictly lost to the past.
I missed him. I missed being able to check in on him with a text; missed our late night phone conversations; missed watching movies in bed with our legs tangled together. But the worst part was that there was nothing I could do to make things better. It was my careless words that got us into this mess and now I was helpless to claw us out of it. Somehow, I'd gotten the boy I loved back only for him to end up somebody that I used to know, all over again.
I knew that I was miserable company for Maya and Alice as I retreated more and more into the confines of my bedroom. Whenever Michael suggested grabbing a drink after a class I made an excuse to get out of it. It was as though any enthusiasm to embrace my time at Yale had drained from me.
Instead, I threw myself with more fervour than ever into my studies. After all, that was the reason I'd ended whatever Carter and I had, right? Increasingly, I became unsure of my reasoning.
Eventually, though, my roommates had had enough. When I arrived home from the library, cold and tired and depressed, the last thing I wanted was to see them both waiting for me in the kitchen. But I was starving so I had no choice than to face them.
"Oh, good, Sydney, you're here!" Alice said upon noticing my presence, overly chirpy.
"Yeah, hi." Most of my conversation had decreased to single syllables recently.
"We wanted to talk to you," Maya announced, seriousness in her tone only emphasised as she stood up from her chair.
Internally, I groaned. "Is this an intervention?"
"No!" Alice exclaimed at the same moment as Maya replied, "Yes."
I didn't say anything, just crossed the room to my cupboard and got out a pack of pasta. I could practically feel their eyes boring into me as I busied myself making my food with my back to them.
"We know you're upset and we get that, but you need to try to move on," Maya said, voice softer now. "You can't be in love with Carter forever, not when it's making you so sad."
I paused, jar of pasta sauce in one hand. Taking a deep breath, I turned around. "I can't help it. It's not something I can just switch off, you realise that? I don't want to spend all my time moping around like this but I don't know what else to do. I'm not good at this, okay? I have no real experience; Carter is the only boy I've ever loved, so yeah, I am bad at moving on from him. You don't need to tell me that."
I let my eyes remain on them as I walked across the kitchen to where my pasta pot was boiling over. They looked a little taken aback by my outburst, both staring back at me silently. My emotions were now running high and I was overwhelmed by a sudden urge to cry.
