The Only One

Moving Forward

But as wonderful as that little chat with Ruby had been, the high of it all faded away eventually and that somber sadness returned to the atmosphere surrounding the two women. Sam continued just to hold Lena close and stroke her hair while Lena continued to focus on Sam's heartbeat. Heaven knew she didn't care about her own anymore. But once again, she couldn't help but ask the question that Sam had tried to brush off earlier before they called Ruby.

"What am I going to do?" she sighed, sounding more hopeless than afraid now. But just like before, Sam had no answer for that.

"I can't tell you," she sighed ruefully. "This is a hard question and I have no answer."

"But don't you at least have a little advice? Or any suggestion at all?" Lena pressed hollowly.

"Unfortunately, I do, but you aren't going to like any of them," Sam replied.

"Ah. You're going to tell me I should forgive and forget," Lena muttered, forehead wrinkling as she frowned.

"No, no," Sam corrected. "I'm going to tell you that you need to confront this issue head on. You're going to need to talk to Kara ASAP and tell her everything you know. It may feel natural to you to want to start keeping your own secrets in retaliation, but that's going to get you nowhere in this fight, except even deeper into trouble than you already are," she said.

"What?" Lena recoiled and, for the first time that night, vengeance and anger crept into her voice. She sat up out of Sam's arms defiantly.

"You may feel like this is unfair, and that Kara should come to you and not the other way around, and I do agree with that," Sam continued calmly, letting Lena sit up, but refusing to let her go off just yet. "You have every right to be mad and hurt, but I'm asking you for your own sake that you do not become vengeful over this. Just go in there and address it. You can't wait around anymore in the hopes that Kara might tell you. If she hasn't told you yet, she never will, so the best way to deal with it now is for you to take the lead and make the first move, as unfair as that is," Sam continued to advise. "If you want to get anywhere at all, you need to start moving forward right now. Don't wait around anymore. It's not going to be easy or fun or pleasant or happy, but at least it'll get you somewhere."

"But I don't want to take the initiative!" Lena almost whined. "Why should I have to answer for her mistakes?"

"You shouldn't," Sam replied, still calm. "But at the rate things are going, if you want to get anywhere, you're going to have to."

Lena heaved an angry, frustrated sigh, slouching and running tired fingers through frazzled hair.

"I know it can't be easy," Sam consoled. "But we both know it's the only way anything will change or come to some sort of conclusion, no matter how unsavory that conclusion may be."

"I know, I know," Lena promised with a defeated sigh. "I just don't think I'm ready..."

"Well, don't push yourself before you're ready," Sam replied. "I just mean that you can't wait forever. Take as much time as you need, but the moment you feel ready, go for it."

"But what should I say? What should I do?" Lena pleaded.

"Everything that Kara didn't," Sam replied again. "Be honest, direct and determined. Don't be forceful, aggressive, pushy or vengeful. But do be assertive and get a little angry. Not enough to make the rift between you any bigger, but enough to fuel some fire to your argument."

Lena paused for a moment, although Sam's ideas were still very unsavory to her, to hear Sam suggesting that she actually actively get angry before, during and after her confrontation with Kara caught her interest. It was something she had never been recommended before.