Part Human

Chapter 6 - Pain

*Warning: Sensitive content related to suicide*

I'm shook awake by someone and the blanket is pulled from off my head. Jared stands over me with a look of compassion on his face. He sits down on the edge of the bed. I scoot my body over so he can have more space to sit on. He pushes the hair out of my face.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Jared asks, rubbing his hand over my head gently. I look up into his beautiful, blue eyes.

"Everything is just too much. I miss my family so much. I miss Sam so much. Why am I still even alive?" I say, tears starting to well up in my tired eyes.

His thumb catches my tears and swipes them away. "I know. We'll get through it together. I'll help you as much as I can, dear." He starts to rub my back. "Shannon and I made lunch. You should come eat. You haven't eaten much."

I feel like being around Jared and Shannon will constantly remind me of the people I miss. My emotions are all over the place, I can't seem to control them all that much. I am pretty hungry though.

Jared continues to rub my back. It is so soothing, I might just fall asleep again. He looks down at me, almost through me, as I can tell that he is thinking deeply about something. I wonder what it is that he is thinking about.

I reach my hand up and run my fingers through his hair. His eyes focus on me again. We stare at each other for a moment, then he leans down and kisses my forehead.

"Let's go eat," He says, holding a hand out to me. I grab it and let him pull me up off of the bed. We continue to hold hands as we walk to the dining room.

Shan sits at the table, scrolling through something on his phone. Jared goes and sits down at the head of the table. I wait until he is fully seated until I finally sit down next to him. He looks at me with a strange look but doesn't say anything.

In front of each of us is a bowl full of salad. It's always salad. I grab my fork and start eating. I don't look up at either of the boys at all as I eat. I don't like being reminded of my sister-like love for Sam. At least the salad is way better than I expected.

I don't listen to Jared and Shannon as they talk to each other. Instead, I think about my parents. I wonder what they are having for lunch today. How are they dealing with my 'death'? My parents and I didn't get along the best, but I miss them so much. I can just imagine the soft touch of my mom's hand checking my forehead when I was sick. The sterness of my father's voice as he lectured me. Oh, how I wish I could see them.

Sammy. My beautiful, best friend. Her long ass blonde hair and her bright blue eyes. She is probably laying in bed eating ordered food. That's what she usually did when she was sad.

"Alya," Jared says quietly. I jump in my seat, my eyes focusing.

I calm myself down, and say, "Yes?"

Both he and Shannon are looking at me with looks of concern. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Jared asks.

"I'm fine. I'm not cryi---" I touch my face and feel that it is wet. I didn't even realize I was crying. Maybe I need to go to therapy or something. They probably don't even have therapy for cyborgs. I bet other cyborgs can't even show emotions to their masters.

I wipe the tears away. "Sorry," I say. The salad in front of me is all gone. Both boys are still looking at me, but I try to avoid looking at them. "I'm actually fine. I was just thinking. It's all good." I stand up and push my chair in. "I'm gonna go outside for a little bit."

I walk over to the back, glass door. There is a swimming pool in the backyard and a few chairs around it. I go over to one of the chairs and sit down. The sun warms my skin. It feels good to be outside. I've needed the calm and quiet.