Out on a Limb

Exit Stage Left

That would have been all well and good, but Donald wasn't interested in going anywhere, and he certainly wasn't interested in letting a twat like Evelyn Blair (or a sack of shit like Ferguson) take him down. He was quite settled into his life and enjoyed his financial security, the means to travel, luxurious cars and Caribbean vacation homes, all of which made his hobby that much easier to partake in wherever in the world he found himself. Truth be told, even his wife and son were nearly bearable at times (assuming Constance played the willing wife when he needed an outlet and little Alex kept his sticky, sausage fingers to himself instead of snotting all over his pant legs like he seemed to enjoy doing).

Rather than succumb to Ferguson's plot, he took control of the situation (and Evelyn's manicured cunt) once and for all. Part of him always knew killing her would be inevitable, but again, shitting on and eating from the same plate was a delicate matter. Yet for as difficult as the decision was, the only true struggle in arriving at his course of action came in selecting which of his personas he would rely on to execute the task.

There was Good Samaritan Don (wholly ironic considering he was usually the one to put them in need of assistance in the first place), Heartbroken and Lovelorn Don (not his favourite considering he had to utilize too many complex emotions), Entrepreneur Don (most ladies' preference since it gave him the opportunity to talk about supposed business triumphs and all of the world destinations he could take them on), Mysterious Don (also a winner, but requiring of more time and planning than he had for Evelyn), and the tried and true Understanding Don (the b-type personality who could offer a shoulder to cry on, a consoling ear to listen with, and a completely non-sexual level of comfort that made twisting the life from women almost too easy to even be worthwhile.).

In the end he went with a Good Samaritan/Understanding hybrid, an inescapable combination that never failed him in the past and ultimately never failed him where Evelyn Blair was concerned. He plied her with just enough Scotch to make her malleable, listened to her pathetic sob story of how she never got the break she deserved in life, and then offered her a large sum of money in exchange for two documents -- one being her handwritten confession and the other outlining her immediate resignation for personal reasons. He also topped the negotiations off with the promise to help her with a new start in a new city. With her surprisingly elegant penmanship put to paper and tucked into an envelope (and now tucked into his floor safe in his home office) he wasted no time making good on his promises.

While he didn't give her a lump sum of money, he did step away from her long enough to replace his comforting touch with a transparent bag over her head (an item he liked to keep in his work bag in case of emergencies) and then pulled her backwards so she could watch his own smiling eyes as he sucked the life out of her from overhead. He remembered her scratching frantically at the bag and her eyes flipping open in shocked surprise like those of an old-fashioned kewpie doll, and when he released the thick covering to let a gasp or two of fresh air in her eyes flickered open and shut with an animated motion, he thought it the prettiest expression she had ever worn in all the time he had known her.

In that moment he knew her death had been destined for his hands, and with the utmost gratitude he felt strangely honour-bound to keep the rest of his promises to her. In the heartbeat before her final breath escaped he pulled the bag from her head and snapped her neck in one fluid motion, giving her the break in death she bemoaned never having in life.

He also made good on relocating her to a new city. Several new cities in fact. After claiming one of her acrylic bauble rings for his treasure chest, he commandeered Ferguson's private jet under the pretense of an impromptu business trip and began his west coast tour with his newly departed Executive Coordinator. He dropped her left foot and torso from the plane near a heavily wooded area over British Columbia under the cover of darkness (demonstrating not only his ingenuity, but his talent as a pilot thanks to birthday flying lessons courtesy of Constance). He sprinkled her right foot and other bits of her in a Portland dumpster (a city so rife with homeless people that a few extra limbs would hardly be noticed), and then smaller, more manageable pieces like her fingers off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. As a final farewell he reverently dropped her head off the back of a ferry boat ride to Vancouver Island, her mouth stuffed and glued shut with five strands of Majorcan pearls he bought her as a going away gift (quite fitting in his mind considering they were just as manufactured as Evelyn herself).