Dear Irene, Life is unfair. Some people win everything in the game of life. A happy, healthy family, A caring mother and loving father along with annoying siblings that in the end you're thankful for and great friends who you can go and talk to plus laugh with, friends who genuinely care for you and you care for them. A roof over your head, living in a safe, quiet neighborhood without a complain in mind.
And then the other people, the others who don't have any of that, who don't have a loving family, loving parents. They don't get the luxury of having a warm bed to sleep in, of having friends, of having people who love them. Of having a stable room over their head.
I am one of the other people, I don't have any of those things and if I'm being honest it's hard. It's so fucking hard Irene, having to worry at night how you're going to get your next meal or where you're going to find shelter for the night. It's stressful and it's so unfair.
Unfair how people complain over the littlest of things such as not having the latest, coolest phone or complaining about a broken nail- the littlest of fucking things, the most minimal things you could think of they complain about it, it all. And if I'm being honest, it irks me, it really does.
I used to really hate the world Irene, I used to hate everyone. You should know it wel enough Irene, when I first met you I was so harsh to you, so rude to you. I treated you like absolute shit. Most by now would have left me to be, muttering a quiet but not quiet enough 'Bitch' And I would've rolled myself and grab what i had and left for the day to find a new place to stay for the night.
But instead of running away from me, you stayed. You gave me a soft smile and you handed me a tan paper bag and you told me. "I'll come back here tomorrow, I hope you will too." You responded in an almost angelic voice. I swore that I had met an angel that day.
When I opened the tan bag, I saw a sandwich, it was wrapped in Plastic Wrap, I remember looking up from the tan bag and I had seen you walking down the street, I grew curious and I followed you. I know it may have been wrong to follow a complete stranger to what could be either their home. But something with in me was telling me to follow you, to go after you. So I did, You ended up going to a restaurant, It was a black and tanned themed building, it was not to small but not the biggest either.
You then stopped walking and it was right in front of the entrance, you turned around and stared directly at me, I was surprised and hide myself behind a bush, I know it wasn't the smartest idea but I was quite surprised and scared. You spoke out and from your voice you sounded happy, almost overjoyed to have seen me.
"I didn't expect you to follow me but I'm kind of glad you did, Would like to stay?" You spoke out to me and I was confused to why you were being so kind to me.
Time went on and you practically took me in, you let me stay at your apartment, you helped me with almost every single thing and I am beyond grateful for that.
You made genuinely so happy, I haven't smiled in such a long time, you made me so happy, you showed me the true meaning of happiness. You were a piece of my happiness too, you gave me hope so much of it.
But as I wrote to you in the beginning of this letter, I told you that life is truly unfair. We all can't have happiness forever and some of us aren't even meant to have it. Irene, life has been incredibly difficult, I felt myself become slowly detached from the world we live in, I felt numb everyday became harder and harder to live, I wasn't even living at this point.
Irene, I'm sorry for the pain that I may cause you after you find out about my death. I'm so sorry but don't you understand? with or without your help, I was truly miserable. And it may hurt for you to hear this, it may make you feel like you wasted your time. But Irene you didn't, you gave me the one moment in my life where I could say that I was happy, that happiness stayed with me for a moment but that moment, I savored
With all my heart I thank you again, Irene.
Love,
-Kang Seulgi
