Dear Jin, Thank You

Who Am I

"Yah, she's that girl isn't she?"

"Oh! You mean the girl who slept with her teach-"

"Not so loud!"

I can hear you...gosh.

Slut. Whore. Teacher's pet. Fake. Snake.

I've been called so many of these words I can't even remember when was the last time I wasn't.

Yoon Dahni. The infamous girl in the school who's been involved in so many bad rumors. That's me. Yeah, sure I was mentioned in them but they're all lies.

When did it start? I can't recall. Maybe it was back in middle school when I called out the class princess for being a spoiled brat? Or was it when I told my ex-friend about her boyfriend's cheating? I don't know. And I honestly don't care anymore.

Now I'm in my second year of high school. And things haven't changed for the better.

If you're wondering why I haven't told my parents, there's no point. They're such busybodies going to work everyday for 18-20 hours. They have no time for me.

Ah, if you're curious, my dad's a doctor and my mom's a prosecutor. Yes, two of the major careers anyone would want in South Korea.

It's because of them that I grew up with a strong mind for justice. Partially because of that that I'm where I am today. Nonetheless, it's a good trait so I'll keep it.

Anyways, today's been another shitty day. I came in class with my "classmates" splashing water mixed with fish sauce at me. It was originally planted at the top of the door to land on me, but I got used to that and eventually avoided it so they had to change methods.

So my entire uniform, including myself, got wet and now stink like fish sauce. I forgot to bring a change of clothes so I was going to continue wearing my wet and stinky clothes. That was until the teacher had me change into the oversized tracksuit. I managed.

Gosh, I sound like such a stable girl don't I? I'm talking as if I'm that tough and strong that I can handle all these treatments. Haha, I wish. I'm just so used to it that it's become a daily routine.

But of course, I'm not a robot. I can't just keep bottling up all these feelings in me. So how do I release them? Well, music, I guess.

Every break and every lunch, I sneak up onto the roof or inside one of the empty, unused rooms and sleep or just lie there listening to music. It's my therapy.

I used to do it alone at first. But then, someone joined me. Someone who's been the only one by my side despite all the rumors and hate at me.

He's a nice guy. A goofy one who's always cheering me up. My best friend and someone I like. I'm not sure if that "like" is a feeling of love but it's definitely more than just friends. Probably closer to family now.

That person is Jin. Kim Seokjin, a transfer student who's in a different class than me. Maybe it's because he's a transfer student that's why he sees me as Kim Dahni and not the "girl of the rumors".

Speaking of him, there he is.

I walk up the flight of stairs onto the rooftop. Closing the door behind, I turn around to see a tall guy standing in front of the fence.

"Jin!"

He turns around, a smile appears on his face. His hand rises from his pocket and waves, "Dahni, you're here."

I walk up to him but stop at 6 feet from him.

"What's wrong? Oh wait, you're wearing a tracksuit...did they?"

I nod, "I smell like fish sauce so best stay far from me."

My eyes falter to the ground. My hands clenching onto the sleeves of the jacket.

But then, a pair of sneakers comes into my view. I look up seeing Jin right in front of me. He takes a sniff at me and smiles, "You smell like the best kind of fish sauce, tasty."

We both break into laughter.

"Hahaha, Jin, stop lying I know I smell bad."

"But I'm not? I mean," He moves closer in on me and sniffs again, "You smell tasty, definitely not anything bad."

I push him away and roll my eyes.

He continues to laugh but also takes out something from his pockets. Two juice cartons comes out in his hands, he hands me one.

"Here. Your favorite flavor, strawberry."

I take it with gratitude, "Aigoo, thank you, my lord."

"What the hell!" He laughs again.

I laugh along. The two of us continue laughing for a good five minutes.

But soon, we're sitting on the floor drinking our juice. I let my fish sauce smelling hair fan out in the blowing winds as I close my eyes and feel the sun's rays on me.

I could feel Jin's gaze and it seems to last for while. And instead of reacting to it, I continue what I'm doing.

"Are you okay?"

My eyes open. I look at Jin, who's no longer looking at me but straight ahead.

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about, all of this. All of the bullying and false rumors against you? Are you really okay with it?"

I flinch, but my lips curl into a soft smile. I place my juice on the floor and rest my arms on my knees, "You should already know the answer to that."

"I've already exhausted all my options, Jin. And I even told you, that I'll just have to bare with it."

He looks at me, his brows furrowed, "I know, but still-"

"The last resolution is death." I cut him off.

His eyes looked sad and also angry. But I'm not sure what he's angry at, me, him, or everyone else.

I pick up my juice and get up as well. I walk over to the very edge of the rooftop that's been blocked by the fence, "Don't worry, if I die, I'll die here so I can haunt everyone who's been bullying me."