Chapter 5 (Part 2) - The boy with many layers: Iris

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"all clear" I call down to Jack. He pulled himself out and squinted in the sun light. His eyes hardening. He stood up and looked at me. I hadn't really gotten a good look at him since we had been in such a hurry and there wasn't much light down under the floor. Just enough so that I could see his face. He was much taller than I was, so he was almost looking down at me. His black hair fell and hung around his deep grey eyes. He was skinny and muscular at the same time. A great build in my opinion. He wore a black shirt embroidered with a small tiger on the breast pocket, a jean jacket, dirty jeans and beat up black sneakers that weren't tied. I didn't really know what to make of him. Maybe he was a bad boy, maybe he was just misunderstood and was sweet. Maybe he was tough and hard and didn't feel things. Maybe he was scared and sad. Everything about him suggested something different. Maybe he was all of them. Wow so may maybes today.

"we should probably get going now" he said looking around a bit.

"yeah your probably right" I lead the way out of the flower shop and out into the sun light which was setting and made everything glow orange. The streets were emptying for families going in to make dinner or eat with their loved ones depending on what there set meal time was. Mine was 6:15.

"which way" I said looking up at Jack

"Just fallow me" He said turning left and leading me down the black pavement. "Got any family?"

"yeah I got my mom and dad and a dog but that's about it. My parents were assigned to have 1 girl named iris and a German shepherd named blue, so I never got a brother or sister. Just a dog" I said.

Jack laughs a little "I always forget you guys are assigned a number of children and their gender. Even their parentage. My parents just decided they were in love and had a baby. No one said you two are going to have twins one will be a boy and one will be a girl and their names are going to be Jack and Lily. it just happened, like everything else. I find it easier to be a family when it just happens like that. When it happens because you want it to happen not because the government said it would happen. I never had a doubt in my mind that my parents loved me and never will." it seemed odd to me. That stuff just happened, no one told them. They just did things and decided things by themselves. It must be harder. And he was right. There were sometimes when I debated if my parents really loved me, loved each other. How could I know when they were just told to have me, told to marry each other? It drew us apart sometimes. And then a thought came to me.

"what if I can't make decisions? What if I can't decide things without someone telling me what to decide? What if I'm incapable of being independent when I've been dependent my whole life?" I said to Jack.

"it's easier than you think. To make decisions I mean. When you have to make big decisions, you kind of just know what to do. It's all about what matters most to you. I mean you make decisions every day and you probably didn't even know it. Even under control of the government. I mean you decide what to eat for lunch, who to be friends with well at least most of them, how you act, whether you study for that test, you do take part in making your life you know. I mean you decided to help me I think you'll be able to make decisions just fine. Your smart, really smart. I can tell from the way you talk and act, like you have no doubt you're doing the right thing. Trust me if you join the runaways, decision making will be the least of your worries" he looked at me. I can read people just from their eyes. It's a special talent of mine. his eyes were even softer than normal. kind and gentle and caring with a hint of determination and harshness and I learned a piece of him that day. That even though at times around certain people he was hard and bleak deep down he was still sensitive and kind. My stomach filled with butterflies. My tongue got all tied up and my hands started to sweat a little at my sides. No, I can't let this happen I don't like guys and they certainly never like me. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and secretly wiped my palms off. I pushed the butterflies down until I could barely even feel them. I took a deep breathe but lightly so that he wouldn't notice. Ok good now never do that again, I scolded myself. I have a way of pushing down my feelings so that I can't even feel them. it's like I convince myself that there not there or that their different even if there not. Some say its unhealthy I say it's a very useful talent.

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