Worthless

Chapter 1

He waited sunset to go outside from his apartment full of mess, he's a mess too. His wound closed a bit, he ignored, it will heal for a week, the wound is deeper than the wound he has ten years ago, it is his fault but he don't consider it as a fault because he liked it. He went to the gas station and beside it there's a store. He went inside with a badass look.

     All of the people inside the store looked at him as the bell on top of the door rung. He's an idiot, a dumbass and a badass. His smell is very masculine, his look is so intimidating, his daring eyes that can kill tons of women, his cold aura sends chills down to their spines and his body that most of the women drools for. Even though he have eye bags and a scar on his face, he is still a handsome idiot. He don't look like a drug addict.

"20 bucks," the cashier said and handed him a pack of cigar, he gave the cashier 50 bucks not minding the price, he put it in his pocket before leaving. As fast as that. He didn't like attention because he didn't want it in the first place.

"Ahhh... Women are always like that," he whispered remembering the frog faces of the women inside the store awhile ago. He didn't like that also, women, he hates women considering his mother who gave up on him. He isn't interested of having a relationship, he hates commitment. It's not like he's a gay but he is—-nah just kidding. He's 100% straight, yep, he's a boy, he don't deserve to be called a man. It's alright, he's still 20 years young but old in wasting his life.

Little did he know, there was a girl behind him who's following him. He ignored the girl because it's just a waste of time if he will give attention to her but he has a time on wasting his life. Great. Just great.

"Hey!"

Ignoring her is the mood he has, not minding to talk to her because he can talk to himself. He's doubting if he has a magnet on his back. He has patience, yes he has.

"Stop following me," he suddenly stopped walking and the girl stopped too. He's irritated and he don't know why, maybe he's irritated because of the girl. Stupid.

"I'm here to give you something," the girl said with an energetic voice. She's energetic, bubbly, lovely, and cute. She is indeed a love-able person. It's just that he can't love her co'z he's cold as winter.

"Not interested," he said and continued walking. He stopped again when he felt something on his back.

"Fuck!" he shouted. Trashtalker. Then he saw the girl running away from him. He reach for his back and felt something sticking on his back. A paper, he removed it and crumpled the paper then threw it away.

"Women," he muttered and continued walking. Nah it's just another shitty day for him as always. That's why he hates women because women are stubborn, irritating and etc..

     He also hates his mother at some point. The point that his mother gave up on him because he was - no - is a rebellious child. He wanted her attention in a wrong way. He was in a gang. He skipped classes in school. He always hurt himself but he didn't knew, his parents are more than hurt than himself. But that didn't last for long, his parents got angry to him and so he was sent to the rehab. hoping that he'll be an angel some...day...

He spent his life in there for five years then after that, they didn't treated him as their child anymore, his father supports him but treats him as a stranger and his mother left them then had a new family. Money and house are all that he has now, he has no family and friends.

     Maybe he was destined to be like that, to have a kind of life like that. He's destined to suffer.

     "Calixxe!!"

     Nobody calls him his second name except for Xenove. (Xenove - She/no/ve) Xenove is a she but acts like a he. She isn't a lesbian, she just acts like one. He knows her but that doesn't mean she is his friend.

    "I-I saw the paper you threw awhile ago," she started talking while following him but as usual, he ignored her.

     "I think this can help you," she said but he continued walking until he saw a coffee shop and went inside it but Xenove kept on following him.

     "Listen to me," Xenove said to him while looking at his back. Even his back looks—-okay she gets it. He's sexy.

     "I am," he said and ordered a cup of tea then paid for it. He faced Xenove and took a sip from his cup of coffee. Xenove is a beautiful woman but he didn't find her attractive for him.

     "You know what? I'm so done with you. This can help you," Xenove said to him and she's upset right now. Holding the crumpled paper makes her want to throw it to the face of the person in front of her.

     He grabs the paper and put it in the pocket of his pants. He continued drinking his coffee and sat on the couch while Xenove is still upset and not moving a bit where she stands.

     "Sit," he said to the woman and she sat in front of him.

     "Hey, fag. If you don't want me to disturb you, just do what I want you to do," she said while greeting her teeth. She felt like a shit because of him but he didn't cared at all.

     "Piece of shit. Who are you anyway? Damn it," he said and left her dumbfounded. He don't want anyone's help. As always, he's a dumbass.

     "She fucking called me fag. Fuck that shit." He whispered while glaring at the way where he walks. He grabbed a cigarette and lighter from his pocket then lit the cigar. He is smoking again. He wanted his lungs to be black as his attitude. He immediately put the things back in his pocket while on his other hand holds the cigarette.

     "Fuck this world."

     He always blame the world for having a kind of life he has. He has nothing to regret if the world has nothing to fuck with him. Nah...He really is a stupid jerk.

     "Stupid shit."

     There's something that he hates more than the world, himself. He called his self stupid shit which is true, a fact.

     "Humans are always worthless creatures."

He always think about being worthless. He always look down to people including himself. He's insane. He's a pain in the ass.

"Excuse me." He heard a voice of a woman from behind while still walking and smoking. He ignored the woman. He has no time to shit with.

"I'm talking to you, Veryan."

He stopped. He looked at the sun that made his eyes watery and it hurt. He looked down and closed his eyes to ease the pain. He opened again his eyes and sighed as if he carries the whole world on his back.

     "Veryan." Someone called his name again. He faced the woman, the woman that he despise in his entire life.

    "My son," the old lady called him which made him feel more worthless.

    "Let's talk, son."

     He don't want to talk to everyone so he turned his back and started walking away from the old woman. He got some attitude there.

     "Veryan, please let's talk. Don't walk away."

     He heard her helpless voice again but he didn't stop from walking away. He's always been a coward and he'll always be.