Memory Lost by Ding Mo [Chinese WebNovel]

Chapter 155

Chapter 155: King of Guilt

“A few years later when I came back from abroad, Han Chen was already at your side,” his voice is like flowing water, but he says these words very quietly.

Su Mian can’t really imagine what his feelings would be like after growing up from a young boy into a young man.

Perhaps only sorrow is left in the grown-up young boy.

Or perhaps, it’s the beginning of intertwining darkness and light.

The one she loves is the most honest and purest man.

As for him, he stands in the deep end of darkness; the young king of crimes.

They remain quiet for a moment.  Su Mian starts to speak, “Therefore, when I entered the seven-member organization as an undercover, you knew my real identity from the start?”

He nods, “I know every minute and every second about you.”

Su Mian feels as if she’s suffocating from repressing her emotions.  It turns out that when she sacrificed her life to be an undercover cop, he was simply waiting for her to come.

“Therefore……” her throat is a little dry, “the police’s plan failed because my identity was already exposed earlier on?”

He becomes silent as he wasn’t expecting this question.

“No.”

He smiles and continues to look calm, “The only one I ever lost to is Han Chen.  Before the plan, he already knew that your identity was exposed. He continued with the plan anyway.  We were going to lose. Just one step away from it.”

Su Mian keeps quiet for a second, “Xu Nan Bai.”

He nods, “Yes, Xu Nan Bai.”

It was this two-faced guy who turned against them, causing the police and the seven-member organization to suffer.

Even though Su Mian isn’t too clear on what happened back then, Han Chen once caused a man like S to admit defeat; it looks like she and Han Chen were only one step short from winning.

Su Mian suddenly remembers Han Chen’s words.  He said: I was young and an idiot, that’s why I lost you.  I’m sorry to you.

Han Chen, we both don’t remember it.  You never lost me; you’ve never disappointed anyone.

We were so close to being together.

Su Mian can feel pain surging up in her body.  She closes her eyes and reopens them. A certain thought in her mind is becoming clearer and clearer.  It will ruthlessly force her to confront it soon.

She asks, “I lost my memory and my identity was switched.  Were these all due to your arrangement?”

Whenever she’s quiet, the man in front of her would wait patiently like this.  It’s as if he’s also thinking back about that grief-stricken past.

He lights up another cigarette, inhales from it, and answers softly, “Yes.  Xin Jia’s medicine paralyzes nerves causing damage to memory. It’s just that I didn’t expect Han Chen to charge in.”

Su Mian looks down at the ground and stares at her blurry shadow.  It’s finally clear. It wasn’t an accident; it was a planned switch.  The five years that was stolen from her started then.

“I want to start over with you,” he says each word slowly and clearly carrying a hint of sorrow, “If one day, I’m no longer a criminal, you never lost your dad and you’re not the girl seeking revenge.  If you and I were to meet again, would everything be different?”