It was a little past midnight. I was perched on my balcony couch, staring at the non-breezy night sky. I was super alert and kept glancing at my phone - anytime now, I was expecting some news. As I waited, my mind drifted to today morning, when I woke up. An age old habit of early morning free-hand exercises, wake me up early every morning - no matter how late I sleep.
I woke up to find myself in Pragya's bedroom. At first I was shocked, and looked around for signs of her beside me - thankfully she wasn't there. I got up from the bed cautiously and peeped into the other bedroom - there she lay sleeping peacefully. I quietly crept back to my room and looked around, making myself familiar with the surroundings. She had a nice four poster bed beside a big window overlooking her backyard. The room was soft pink in colour and had a huge wall-o-wall shelf stacked with all the books imaginable. Next to the shelf was a double door wardrobe, each door was marked with brightly coloured sparkly alphabet stickers. The right door read "Prags" and the left door read "Princess BB" - I laughed at their childhood exploits. I was about to turn, when my dog tags caught the handle to Bulbul's side of the wardrobe door and pulled it open, among the few clothes of hers that were stacked in this nearly empty wardrobe, I found a stack of my early days poster, music CDs, concert tickets. So BB was my fan. I saw that she had autographed all my bare bodied posters with "Property of Mrs. Rockstar - BBM" - I already like this girl - she was perfect for my quiet and sober best friend Purab - she could add so much fun to our hangouts now. Then my eyes fell on a photo album titled, Princess BB's memories. I hesitated once, but then what was the harm in going through an innocent childhood's photo album I reasoned. As I went through the photos, there were random memories of their childhood - Pragya, BB, their parents, cousins, friends and the sorts - the album painted a happy image of their family in my mind - Prags seemed like she belonged here, but the Pragya who lived in this house, didn't seem to fit in this frame - grim, quiet, boring and diminutive - these weren't terms that described the Arora's it seemed.
Then when I turned around and spotted the bedside table - I saw a small tray with a neat pile of tablet containers. I slowly walked towards it - that is when the warm feeling inside me disappeared and my smile froze.
Pragya had a few drugs by her bedside table, which implied she used it often. There were three kinds of them - sedative pills, anti-depressant pills and anti-anxiety pills. I stared at the bottles aghast. This was what remained of the Prags I just saw in those photos? These were her survival aids? I freaked out - after last night, I was sure I had lost her, and I wasn't going to make a scene about it - but now I saw the manifold worse reality - Pragya was losing herself too - this I couldn't let happen. Sitting on her bed with my head buried in my hand, I realized, I have to get her back - I can't lose Pragya, because if I did, in no time, she will lose herself. So, if not for my selfish sake, at least for her sake, I have to give this one more shot - I have to win Pragya back. I softly went to her room and caressed her head, she seemed oblivious to my touch, and I recollected her words from last night. It wasn't going to be easy. I knew it was going to be gradual - until then? I needed someone to take care of her and keep me informed. Hence I called up my personal domestic aid - Robin.
***
As I stood in the balcony recollecting the morning's memory, my phone finally rang.
"Yes Robin, did you check on her? Is she in bed?"
"Yes, sir. She is in bed. And before going to bed, she asked me to get a glass of water. I got it, and she went for the medicine tray. But as you instructed, I have emptied them. When she found it empty, she asked me if I touched them. I answered in negative. She then got out of bed, opened her wardrobe, and pulled out more from her stock. Then she took the medicines, gave me the glass, and shut her bedroom door."
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AbihGya SS ~ Frozen
RomanceShe was twenty, and was a second year undergraduate student of Management studying in Pune. She was innocent, she was lively, she was intelligent and somewhere deep down, she was a hopeless romantic. She was skinny thin and had nerdy glasses. Her pa...