tyrus oneshots

the you i see

~third person~

      cyrus sat on his couch, the feeling of disappointment sinking in, but this disappointment was different somehow. he wasn't sad, because what else did he expect? for tj to care?

      oh, boy. he was far from sad, he was angry. he was hurt, he felt lied to, but the hardest part wasn't what had happened, it was the fact that he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. tj had always been the same mean, bitter boy. cyrus just liked to believe tj had changed. cyrus couldn't decipher whether it was because he loved tj, or the feeling it gave him to be the reason for such a big change.

      lord knows in a perfect world none of this would have happened. in a perfect world, tj would have still been the soft, kind boy cyrus saw him becoming. that was the exact opposite.

      tj had became distant and cold, so quickly it made cyrus' head spin. this always seemed to be what happened between the two; they became so close, to then break apart. for them, it was never a "drift" or "seperation", it was a messy, jagged break. though, the thing that broke the most was cyrus' heart. cyrus had always fallen for the impossible, as if it was some game. this time, cyrus was done playing games with his own heart. at first, it was a childish crush, some could say a dream. now, it just hurt. when cyrus' feelings for tj grew, it stopped being a 'crush'. he longed for the boy with green eyes. cyrus had no clue how tj could do it, it was as if he had two hearts.

       not a single text, dm, or squeak from tj had occured for three hours. three hours of letting the argument echo, letting the words they had said settle into a hot, burning mess. they didn't mean to hurt eachother, cyrus just wanted to understand. it took tj saying one thing to lead him to a place of annoyance and anger:

       you think you matter to me? you sure think highly of yourself, cyrus. i don't need this.

       with that one sentence, at the drop of the word 'this', tj slammed the chain of his swing to a sharp stop, pushing it roughly. he got up, leaving. as he left the park, he had also left the comment hanging in the open.

       truth is, it hurt tj to say the words, just as much as it hurt cyrus to hear them. he couldn't imagine hurting the boy, but hurting the people he loved was at the top of his talents. as big of a weakness as a strength. tj never wanted to lose cyrus, but sometimes building walls to protect your heart took a lot of war on the outside. he wanted to keep his heart safe, secrets hidden, and locked from ever seeing the light of day.

      tj wanted to tell cyrus everything. however, tj didn't even know what 'everything' meant. suddenly his weekly hangouts with cyrus became stressful and nerve racking. it wasn't the casual 'bro day' it had always been. tj would spend fifteen minute checking the mirror to see if his hair looked right, checking his outfit for any flaws. answering the door for cyrus was no longer to let cyrus into his house, it was like he was letting cyrus into his head. upon cyrus entering, butterflies, bees, and everything under the sun bubbled in his stomach. tj was confused, he didn't have a damn clue what was happening. but didn't he? didn't he know a boy like cyrus would be impossible to look past? of course he did, and that made tj have to hurt him more to keep his distance. he knew cyrus would always come back.

      something tj also knew, was that he didn't deserve for cyrus to come back. he deserved to be alone, he deserved everything bad that the world had to offer, but that isn't what cyrus thought- and maybe that was the problem. cyrus believed so heavily in tj, he'd take every piece of hell tj could give him, because he saw tj. cyrus saw through the icy exterior, he saw the kind boy who lied beneath it. not anymore. the words, this time, were delivered with such sincerity, and venom that cyrus couldn't overlook it. he didn't want to give up on tj, he needed tj to come back to him, just this once. tj had to be the one crawling back.