Eccendentesiast

| f i v e |

c e r y s '    p o i n t    o f     v i e w

   For the first time in almost two years, Cerys didn't want to go to school, she was very exhausted because she stayed up all night watching 'friends'. And even though she enjoyed watching it, she regretted staying up all night.

Getting out of her cosy bed, she made her way to the bathroom taking a bath, she put on a black skirt and a red tank top, throwing a leather jacket on the top of it to make the outfit look edgier. She then stared at her reflection.

I look dead. She though before reaching for her make up. She just put concealer under her eyes to cover her dark bags, foundation and eyeliner. She curled her eyelashes. But she still looked tired. She left her hair wavy falling down on her shoulders.

When she got out of the bathroom to reach for her keys and phone She was very shocked; pleasantly shocked, when she realised her father was up drinking coffee and was looking down his laptop. She blinked a few times, and then gaped at him like a fish. He looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

"Good morning, sweetheart." He said, he looked normal for the first time in years. His beard was shaved, his hair brushed. And he looked fresh, no signs of alcohol or anything. Cerys didn't know what to do for a few seconds but eventually said, "Good morning, dad. You are up early."

"Yes," he told her taking a deep breath. "I am sorry for what you had to see all this ye--"

She shook her head. She refused to cry and she didn't want to get into this subject.  Cerys didn't want to talk about the different girls she had seen in their house, she didn't want to talk about his unhealthy consumption of Alcohol and weed. And mostly she didn't want to talk about her mom's death. "It is okay dad, you are grown up. You are free to do whatever you want." She stated.

"No, no. It is not fai---"

"Dad. I need to go to school." She eventually said.

He sighed before nodding. "Breakfast?"

She didn't know how to feel, sad because her dad doesn't even know she has an eating disorder or feel happy that he cares about her.

"No dad. Thanks for asking though," she said not giving him another look as she takes her school bag,  phone and keys driving to school. But she couldn't help it as soon as she entered her car, she let her tears fall down for no apparent reason. At all.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

"Hey." Cerys was currently in the library, Malika was next to her and they were reading a book. It was lunch break but they both agreed that they didn't really wanna spend time in the loud Cafeteria with their group of friends. Cerys was feeling a little upset today and didn't wanna talk so she made up this excuse. And she could tell Malika was feeling a bit ill.

Cerys lifted her head up to meet a pair of blue eyes.

Aiden.

"Hi, Aiden." She said giving him a small smile.

"I wanted to talk to you, Can we go outside?" He asked hopefully as shoved his hands inside his pockets. and she frowned but nodded anyway, she gave the Mrs. Layna, the librarian a small wave and Mrs. Layna offered her a small smile.

"I will be back yeah?" She told Malika and Malika gave her a small smirk before nodding.

"So?" She asked as soon as they were outside the library,  he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, as he made an eye contact with her.

"Yeah... um.." He trailed off. "Are you okay?" He finally said, following the words was a small sigh.

Cerys stared at him for a few seconds, why was he asking such question? Was he like... trying to start a conversation with her or something? Or was it because she looked kinda tired today? She eventually answered.

"Yes, I am. What about you?" She asked, the smile still plastered on her face. He shook his head.

"This is not what I meant," he frowned.

What?

"I... I am asking geniunely.. like I saw... you the other day and wanted to ask you yesterday when I gave you your keys but I was a...you know.. coward. So..." he said, his words mixing up together and then Cerys understood what he meant. Her smile dropped and she took a shaky breath as she stared at him with wide eyes.

No!

He couldn't have seen her.

"I saw you... I heard sobs from the bathroom, and I saw you.. cr-crying. Gosh I am--" He continued but stopped eventually when he saw how scared she looked. "What is wrong?"

She didn't reply as he saw her getting near a wall and putting one hand on it for support, and the other one clutching her forehead as she squeezed her eyes shut. Cerys felt vulnerable, weak and naive. She didn't want to believe he actually saw her crying and throwing up.

'How could you fucking mess up?' She thought to herself.

"What is wrong? Are you okay?" He asked, and when she looked at him, he seemed actually concerned.

"I am f-fine." She breathed in for the first time. Don't have a panic attack, you already embarrassed yourself. She reminded herself and braced herself to grow up and look at him.

But when she looked at him and saw pity in his eyes, he couldn't help but ran inside the library and snatch her bag.

"Cerys?!" Malika whispered/yelled at her obviously tense and panicked friend "Cerys??!!"

Cerys completely ignored her friend and shoved the book she was reading in her backpack leaving the school library and the school building trying to ignore the blonde guy that was shouting her name.