Remembrance.

Beginings.

Alinia's POV

It was like it was all starting over again. You know when you're born and you open your eyes to see that blinding light for the first time? I suppose that's what you all felt. I can't really remember but that's how I choose to interpret it. When I try and think about the feeling my mind goes blank and I forget.
Nothing ever stays on my mind for too long.

Nights are dark and days are long. That's how it is. That's how it'll always be. Every day is like being born again and not knowing shi- anything. It's a never ending hell. Every day is different story. I've accepted the fact that it'll probably be this way until I die. Maybe even after. But, who knows? God? Maybe. If you believe in that sort of thing.

Some people probably wonder how I remember these thoughts. There's a simple answer. Sticky notes. There are sticky notes all over the house that have stuff that I need to remember written on them. There are also notes in all of my notebooks and such. There are notes pretty much everywhere. It's just a colourful mess of sticky notes.

I've always wondered what it would be like to be born again as someone with a memory. Would my life be easier? It might be but the thought seems impossible. I'd probably just be dammed to live life again with a terrible memory. Another thing that crosses my mind sometimes is the thoufht of being a 'normal' teenager. One who is free to be herself and not be babied by her parents like I am.

  I've always found parents to be a funny word, not going to lie. I don't see my 'parents' as parents but as caretakers. Some might argue that parents are caretakers but that's your opinion. Keep it to youself. Some may wonder why I view my 'parents' in that way. I view them as the caretakers at an asylum or something. Caretakers at an asylum are required to take care of patients. It's their job. They have no choice.

  The purpose of having a life that is like mine is crazy. Why? Why would anyone want to live with this hell of an reality? Some people may think it's cool but you don't live with my reality. Please. Take it from me. It's trash. You'd be better to off yourself.