Another Day Without You...

Chapter Four.

" you got added years Or are you off to psych? By the looks of your face maybe both".
The familiar, feisty new York accent bounced round the bunk with a chuckle,
" Fuck off nick, I'm not in the mood." A husky voice snapped back before turning into a sigh as the dark haired beauty threw herself on her bunk.
" woah woah woah, easy Satan" Nicky Nichols replies before removing the smaller petite woman's arms from around her neck and lifting her back into her feet.. giving her a smack on the ass-
" morello, I'll catch you up." Nicky winked at Lorna before standing and putting her heavy prison issue boot on Alex vause's bed.. "What's up Vause, What's with all the venom?"

"Nothing just stop okay, just need time to think.. ALONE" alex snaps at Nicky once more before Nicky clicked on that something was really wrong, it wasn't just a 'bad day' it wasn't ' that rough time of the month' either.. something was on her best friends mind, they usually spit back and forward with each other in banter and even play fight but this wasn't any of the above.

Nicky bends down takes a seat on Alex's bed, her hand on her shoulder trying to roll her back over, she had a bad feeling..
Alex eventually gave in and rolled over, her body wrapping around nicky's Lower half, her stomach pressed up against Nicky's back and her thighs pulled in Nicky tighter.. Alex's eyes were bloodshot and about to burst with tears.

"Kid, spill. I mean it's not like I haven't got time to hear it." Nicky tried to lighten the mood, she tries to lighten the mood when she feels uncomfortable, she was known as the 'Junkie philosopher' but never failed to make light of any situation and make anyone smile without even trying.

A single tear slowly fell from the bright emerald eyes, Nicky swiftly wiped the tear with her thumb and tasted it before brushing Alex's cheek.. if it was anyone else, it would have been weird but the only way to describe that action is.. Nicky. It wasn't sexual, it wasn't weird, it was love.. Nicky's type of love.
Her soft strong accent broke the silence once more "Whatever it is Al, you know I'm here- we are sisters.
Talk to me Alex. Let me inside your head."

Alex's closes her eyes, "Mums anniversary. I remember the day, it's when piper left me too, and the first time I fully gave into the H and let it take over my body, I wanted to speak to piper but she didn't answer, I wanted to hear her. We have never missed a call." A deep sigh followed by a minuet or so of silence, Nicky understands more than a lot of people, she was also an heroin user at one point, well a lot of her life to be frank.
She knew what it was like to get to the point of addiction, and smash through that point, to stop fighting the rationalising part of her brain.
You always think it won't be a regular thing, you have a life, family, ambitions etc but it's not until you fully hit rock bottom and unwillingly allow your body to get overtaken by addiction.. you no longer just want it.. you need it, with every ounce of your being.
It's like finding the love of your life, the most toxic, destructive and mind altering love of your life, you know it's wrong but it feels so right, stops you feeling things you don't want too, as long as you have her - everything will be okay.

Nicky took alex and moved her body to push her against the wall side of the bed, she then swung her legs round and lay with her, interlocking there fingers and squeezing tight, " your going to be okay kid, it's gets hard sometimes and that's okay but you need to believe me when I say.. you are going to be alright." Nicky whispers whilst staring up at the ceiling, unable to make eye contact, knowing the pain alex was going through hurt her, she knows that it would be so easy to fall of the wagon again.

Alex squeezes her hand and kisses nicky's shoulder before resting her head on where the planted kiss lay, "I love you nick" Alex whimpers as another tear falls from her eye, Nicky repeats her earlier action of wiping her sisters tear away from her cheek.
" I love you too al, come on. Let's go get you showered, and get you some food.. I'll share a cig with you in the shower - if we hurry it will be empty!"

Alex smiles, she was always amazed at how resourceful nicky was, she needed nicotine and Nicky knew how to comfort her, despite both of the women having a hard time expressing emotion, Alex avoids situations and shuts down completely to stop herself getting hurt again and Nicky tries to make light of a situation to give off the impression it doesn't faze her in the slightest and bottles it up until she breaks - They both know each other inside out, and knew what the other was feeling and tried to tackle their own demons hand in hand when they could.

Nicky lifts her self off the bunk and holds her hand out for Alex and helps her up too, wrapping her arm around her waist, Nicky walked alex to the shower.
"Showers make you feel better, being clean makes you feel better, wash away all this shit. It's like detoxing the detox Vause." She said pulling her closer before releasing the taller woman and walking out of the dorm.

Alex's mind still cloudy, thought back to piper.. maybe because Piper had a taste of the outside she found someone else? Alex was stuck in prison so it would make sense, Piper craved love and if Alex couldn't give it to her.. maybe someone else would?

Leaning her forehead against the shower wall, letting the warm- ish water fall over every inch of her body, she tried to clear her head, it was different this time, things were different, everything was out on the table and her and Piper were on a good path; or so she thought at least.
She knows she's over thinking, Nicky comforts the best she could from the next cubicle over before handing over half of a hand rolled cigarette to her, they continue talking over things for the rest of the shower, over dinner and into the night.
Alex feels a bit better, her mind was less hazy and her thoughts and uncertainty about piper were halted by Nicky and Lorna's comforting words and the reminder of their prison marriage.
" she's going to wait for you, I know she will. That's what she said. It's love, that's what people do when they're in love.. you know me I have a lot to say about love and I can see it in her eyes - it's only you flower". A soft yet confident Lorna Morello spoke, it was from the heart.

"LIGHTS OUT LADIES, LIGHTS OUT" echos loudly through the dorm as it's plunged into darkness, the only light on was the CO bubble at the front of the dorm.

"One day at a time, just take it a day at a time. I love you so much Pipes,     so     Fucking      Much ". Alex softly whispered to herself as she lay in her bed, thinking of all the times they had together.. she was exhausted and immediately fell into a deep dream state.

" Just breathe, take it slow, never look back." Nicky softly whimpered as a her eyes welled up, slowly stroking across her trackmarked arms.

"Why does poison taste so sweet" she let out, broken up by a quivering lip and a slow controlled exhale as she traced the scar on her chest, she blinked hard and wiped the stray tear from her cheek and rolled to face the wall..

" So fucking toxic, but so fucking sweet".