"Oh yeah? How's that?" Kevin asked as he grabbed the bags from the trunk and they made their way to the front door.
"I'll explain it to you later. Right now let's do some wedgies!" Jacob cried as he grabbed the bags from Kevin's hands and ran into the house.
ou know, I'm pretty sure that it's not actually possible," Kevin said as Jacob emerged from the bathroom after exchanging his underwear for boxers. "Physically, I mean."
"I know that, you goof. This isn't a cartoon," Jacob replied with a laugh. "We're just trying to see which one gets the closest."
"Well as long as we're talking about science, you realize that for them to stretch any more than they do when I pick you up, I'll have to exert more force than gravity? That means it'll probably hurt more than any other wedgie you've gotten."
"That's why I put a pair of the tighty-whities on underneath the boxers," he retorted as he made his way to the middle of the living room. "They'll provide some padding so the pain won't be as bad and I'll be able to compare it better."
"Well alright then, I'll defer to your scientific expertise," Kevin replied emphatically. "Just tell me if it starts to hurt, ok?"
"I know, Kevin, you say that all the time," Jacob said with a laugh as he got down on his stomach. "You've got your phone, right?"
"Yes, sir," Kevin answered as he approached Jacob on the floor. "So how should I go about doing this?"
"Well for you to get the most torque, you should put your feet on my shoulders, and that way you can pull the underwear with one hand and take a picture on your phone with the other. Then we can compare the photos after."
"Okay then. Well you know the drill," Kevin reiterated, knowing better than to try to argue the risk of potential injury to a kid who had pretty much proven himself wedgie-proof.
He got on the floor in front of Jacob and placed his feet against Jacob's shoulders with his knees bent. Then, pulling his phone out of his pocket with one hand and grabbing a hold of Jacob's solid gray boxers with the other, he prepared to pull them sky-high.
"I hope you're ready!" He said as he opened the Camera app on his phone and began slowly straightening his knees.
The boxers quickly rose out of Jacob's shorts and stretched readily until the waistband reached his mid-back. As Kevin continued slowly extending his legs, the tip of the waistband was a little short of Jacob's shoulder blades when his bottom half began to rise into the air. Just as the seams in the waistband began to pop, Kevin snapped a picture of the wedgie and then released his hold on the undies.
"Let me see!" Jacob said as he jumped up and ran behind Kevin so he could see his phone over his shoulder.
"Ok, one sec," Kevin said as he pulled up the picture while Jacob pulled off his shorts and boxers so he could fix his tighty-whities.
"That's hilarious!" Jacob laughed. "I've never seen myself getting a wedgie before."
"Yeah, you look pretty nerdy, huh?" Kevin teased him.
"Oh shut up," Jacob said with a playful shove. "Come on, let's do the next one." He grabbed his red boxer-briefs from earlier and pulled them on over his tighty-whities. After putting his shorts back on, he lay down in front of Kevin again and said, "Ready when you are!"
"Alright, here it comes!" Kevin warned as he got his phone ready. He once again began to gradually extend his legs until he had stretched the boxer-briefs to their limit, the waistband reaching the base of Jacob's neck. Kevin took another picture before letting go, after which Jacob jumped up once again to survey the results.
