"Yeah, I guess you're right," Kevin laughed as he grabbed onto the boxer-briefs and lifted Jacob back up onto the post. "You want me to quiz you again?" he asked as he started the timer and sat back down.
"Nah I already got them all. You wanna toss that that frisbee around?" he asked, pointing to the edge of the yard.
"Sure. Smile first!" Kevin replied as he pulled up his Camera again to take another picture.
"Cheeeeeeese!" Jacob said mockingly as he showed his teeth in a big grin.
"Nice one," Kevin said as he snapped the picture before getting up to retrieve the frisbee.
He stood about ten feet away and they started to throw the disc back and forth, with surprising consistency. It had slipped through Jacob's fingers for the third time when the phone started to beep again and Kevin moved to get him off the post.
"Good timing, I didn't wanna have to go pick it up again," he said as Jacob pulled down his shorts and turned his back once again. "They're more stretched than the boxers were but not by much, just like yesterday."
"Oh whatever, you still dropped it more times than I did," Jacob retorted as he removed the boxer-briefs and started pulling the tighty-whities on. "They hurt less than the boxers did too, So the results are correlating so far."
"Good stuff. Just cross your fingers that the whities come through," he said as he picked him up and hung him on the post for the final trial. "How's the butt holding up?"
"Pfft, I could hang here all day," Jacob said as he swung lightly back and forth. "Batman's helping me out too so it's not that bad."
"Better you than me, kid," Kevin said as he backhanded the frisbe to Jacob, who had to swing to the left to snatch it out of the air.
"Yeah, about that..." Jacob started as he flung the disc back. "You wanna try it at some point so I can get some extra data?"
"Ummm..." Kevin mumbled as he caught the frisbe. "I don't know, dude. I'd be feeling that wedgie for days."
"You wouldn't have to hang for this long," Jacob replied as he caught Kevin's returning throw. "Just for however long you can stand it. I wanna see if maybe wedgie tolerance is all in the mind," he said with a gesture towards his head. "I mean, look at me!" He flexed his arms jokingly as he continued to loll back and forth. "Do you think I was just born a natural?"
"Well, maybe," Kevin answered as he caught the disc again. "I'll tell you what: you can still do the pain tests you wanted, and I'll see how the tighty-whities feel with a padding pair. And if it's not too bad like you say, then maybe, just maybe, I'd be willing to try dangling for a second and see if I find it even remotely bearable."
"Guess that's the best response I could hope for," Jacob said with a grin as he swung to the right to make another catch.
They continued tossing the disc until the timer went off once again, at which point Kevin let Jacob down and surveyed his wedgie after he removed his shorts.
"Well they're pretty stretched out, but they held together," Kevin said before turning away to pick up the lawn chair.
"Well like you said, good thing it didn't have corners. Because these probably would have ripped on something even a little sharp," Jacob said back as he removed the bright white undies and replaced his shorts over the Batman briefs. He picked up his stretched out pairs and started climbing the stairs of the deck, Kevin following behind and replacing the chair as they went.
"Well I'd wait and see what the bouncing results are before you draw your final conclusions on the underwear strength," Kevin said as they went back inside, Jacob heading to the laundry room to throw his test samples into the wash while he went right for the couch.
"You're right, gotta save the best for last," Jacob replied on his return to the living room, taking a seat next to Kevin. "So what's on the agenda?"
"I talked to your mom earlier, she said we could do dinner and a movie after she gets off work."
"Sweet! What movie?"
"She didn't pick. Why don't you check what's playing on your phone and choose one on the way? We can start heading to the restaurant to meet her now."
"Ok cool!" Jacob replied enthusiastically as he jumped up off the couch and ran to get his shoes on.
Kevin waited until he ran back moments later to stand up himself, spinning Jacob around by the shoulders as he did. "Here, I'll give you a lift to the car." He reached down and grabbed a hold of the blue waistband once again, lifting the kid off the ground and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
He walked back to the front door and stepped into his shoes, then opened it and walked outside, ducking extra low to make sure he didn't bump Jacob's head on the frame. After locking it behind him, he walked down the front steps and up the path to the driveway when he noticed the old neighbor across the street, Mr. Kurst, sitting on his front porch with a bemused look on his face.
"Hey, Mr. Kurst," Kevin called with a wave, trying to act casual as he approached his car and fumbled in his pocket for his keys with his free hand as the one grasping Jacob's waistband started to falter under the strain.
"Hi Mr. Kurst!" Jacob called, now facing directly towards the man's house since Kevin's back was turned.
"Howdy boys," Mr. Kurst called back, his smile clear in his tone. "Having fun there?"
"Well you know how we roll," Kevin called back as he opened the back door and tossed Jacob in by his waistband, closing the door behind him.
"Take it easy!" He called in farewell as he went to the driver's door and opened it.
"You too!" Mr. Kurst called back as Kevin climbed in the car and closed the door behind him.
"He didn't seem to think it was weird," Jacob murmured from the backseat as Kevin started backing the car out of the driveway.
"Yeah, I guess he didn't," Kevin replied thoughtfully as they pulled away from the house. "Or, maybe he just thinks I'm a very strict disciplinarian."
