The Girl Who Never Shifted

Two

~Today

"Celine?"

The voice that's tries to reach me seems to be miles away. I stare at the familiar face I have known since I was a girl. The face of my father which is now exhausted and yet again worried about where my head has wondered. He shakes my shoulder and I snap my eyes to his.

"Hm?" I whisper and hide my hands under my thighs.
"Happy Birthday," He says with a smile.

It was the smile he has forced to endure ever since my 16th birthday. The smile that screams that he loves me regardless. That my inability to shift does not make me any less of a member of this pack. That the isolation I have been forced to endure is necessary in finding a cure for an incurable sickness. He doesn't want to tell me but I have messed up everything when it comes to this pack.

"Thanks," I say and push some hair behind my ears "look I know you wanted to go out tonight but I'm really feeling sick. Rain check?"
"Yeah sure," he says and I can tell he's hiding his misery in a mask for my sake.

He knows that I've been using the fake pain card to get out of situations. That this card is the one thing I hold near and dear to my chest.

"I had some important information to share with you but I'll tell you tomorrow," and then his kisses my forehead.

I keenly observe my father close my door before my lip trembles. I try to suppress the burdened feeling that seemed like stones in my chest. I cradle my knees to my chest and squeeze my eyes shut. I try to drown out the look of terror on my fathers face when he found I couldn't shift. Jacy nobly but embarrassingly trotted me back to the castle. I remember the feeling of his snout pushing me towards the steps as I stood stupidly.

Inside I was told more than once that it was sometimes normal. That late shifters didn't determine my ability to be the hand to Jacy. As the months passed and a long winter settled upon the pack I was ruled out to have an incurable sickness. A sickness that would last a lifetime. My father pushed the idea of hormonal pills that would try to get my wolf side to surface. Jacy somehow was apart of every decision when it came to my health. He always was at the doctor meetings and constantly lurking when I was injected with different test subjects.

A year into those tests it was decided that I would be postponed from my birth given position. Jacy was level headed enough to make his own decisions so it ruled out true possibility of anyone else taking my families generational duty.

Tears seem to roll down my cheeks regardless of how tight I squeeze my eyes. I clutch my bed sheets in my hands and stuff a portion of the blanket in my mouth. If I stuffed enough of the stuff I would perhaps suffocate. The dead tree that has been living in front of my window for years scratched the glass. I knew that a heavy snow was crashing down onto the ground as it often did in our pack.

Sleep wraps me in my arms when the nights crawls on but the dog of dissapointmenr seems to always be sleeping at the foot of my bed.

————————————————————————

When I wake a frosty fog has stretched across the horizon. Frozen chunks of water stick to my window and in the distance I see a man running to our house. This wasn't an unusual thing to see for someone of my statue. People with news about false hope often ran to my door. Spitting news about a trail in a faraway land that seemed to of shown hormonal progress to wolves who were dealing with a completely different sickness.

The fact was that I was a blip in the timeline of life. My incurable sickness was the first to have ever happened. My very existence was an indescribable mistake that Deva herself must of have error in. Who isn't able to shift into a wolf?

"Celine!" My father screams from down the stairs.

I roll my eyes and yawn. My father had a bad habit of believing every kind of sweet lies that usually created rotten teeth. I'm sure I would race downstairs and be met by a teary eyed father. He would beg me to put myself though one more trial. Tell me to think of the possibilities and ask me What if this is the one C?

My feet patted down the hall and sunk into the beige carpet. Immediately when my I step downstairs the stranger standing in my home widens his eyes. I can feel the pity that grills under the mere surface. He felt sorry that I was a blip. That I was practically useless.

"Dad I don't want to go through more tests," I say without looking at him.

When I look up I see his eyes are wide. I raise and eyebrow before rushing to his side. My father seems to be unresponsive and I grab his hand.

"What's going on?" I mutter and I try to push the thought of an attack down.
"It's Jacy," he says "his mother has noted that he needs your council from a rash decision."
"I'm sure he'll be fine," I say although I do feel bad "Jacy always pulls through."
"No they are demanding your prescribe as hand of the Alpha to provide support and council."

My mouth drops open and I drop my fathers hands. Jacy had managed to be alright with my council for years. His mother was always at his side and giving wise council. Better council than I could ever give. Besides at this point that position did not rightfully belong to me. I step away from my father and bite my lip.

"His mother will help him I'm sure this is a painful thing for her to."

Both my father and the message man nod their heads. Two years ago his father died horribly from an explosive accident when he was negotiating on his sons behalf during the flu. The building blew up and was ruled as an accident until recently. Jacy has frantically launched an investigation since finding the news.

"He has refused his mother ever since she told him to leave his fathers death alone."
"So what am I supposed to do? Tell him that things will be beautiful the moment he gloriously rises?"
"It doesn't matter," my father says sternly "you have been summoned by the Alphas mother and refusal means death."