The Girl Who Never Shifted

Three

When someone holds their hands out for me I stupidly stare at it.

After a hot moment of awkwardness I take it and squeal a little when I'm pulled close to their body. I realize that the person is Jacy's younger sister who has a beautiful velvet cloak hiding her identity.

"Thank you," she says through breaking "your the best hope for the kingdom."

I want to tell her that I have no actual idea about how to speak to Jacy. We were somewhat weird friends shortly when my treatments began but he stopped talking to me after the death of his father. When the golden doors to the castle slowly sway open my eyes widen at the appearance. The familiarity of the castle makes a sharp twist in my gut. The divided stairs with a golden railing meet you immediately. A giant statue of an artists perception of Deva is smack in the middle of the stairs. Behind the statue is a hall that splits in three ways.

Jacys sister leads me up a flight of stairs and down winding halls to his room. Before I can enter I notice that their mother is sitting on a chair with her hands squeezing the bridge of her nose. Dark bags have taken up a majority of her under eye. She seemed stressed for her son beyond belief.

"Mother," I blink dumbly "Celine is here."
"A pleasure to be here Mrs. Blather," I say respectfully.

Mrs. Blather stands and takes my hand. Her eyes zone in completely to mine. She grabs my hands fiercely and squeezes painfully. I bite my tongue but keep a smile on my face.

"Help him," she says to me and all I can manage is a nod of my head.

I pull open the golden knob of his door and step inside. The curtains are slightly drawn and a strip of sunlight shines into the room. Jacy is awake and staring at the snow outside. He has seemed to of aged quite well. When I take a step towards his bed he flickers a glance at me before looking back to the window. Then he immediately turns to look back at me almost in aw of my presence.

"Celina," he smiles at me and I smile at the nickname. It seemed like it was to long since he had talked to me like that.
"Jace," I say back.

He slips down the covers still facing my side and shuts his eyes. One of his hands sticks from the blanket and I almost think that it is lonely.

"Go on give your speech," he sighs "I'll tell my mother that you nearly convinced me."

I don't respond to his words but sit on the edge of the bed. I take his hand in mine and he doesn't open his eyes at the act. Gently although I feel his thumb rub the skin of my hand.

"How was your birthday?" I ask and he snorts.
"How was yours?" He retorts and I bite my cheek.

We both knew of the whispers that our people gossiped. That this reign was going to be miserable because all of us were cursed at birth.

"Fine let's not talk about our birthdays," I say gently and ignore the movement of his hand which creeps up from my hand and wraps around my wrist.

We sit in a moment of silence as I'm unsure about what to say. Jacy's hand is still clutched around my wrist and his thumb continues to rub my skin. He almost seemed to be doing it to make sure I was here. That I wouldn't bolt when I couldn't fix him.

"I've realized how much I've missed you over the last months," he mumbles to me.
"Why did you ghost me in the first place?" I say with a nervous giggle.

It has long been a question that I wanted answered. When Jacy left me bitterly alone I felt hollow for months. My father stopped asking about him when I would cringe. Jacy opens his eyes and stares at our hands. His blonde lashes seem to touch his rosy cheeks.

"You made me happy," he said to be blankly "and It didn't feel right to be happy when the most honorable man I knew had been blown to shreds."

Jacy opens his mouth to speak again but closes it promptly. He grips the end of his blanket so fierce that his knuckle turn white. I let go of his hand and smoosh it between my thighs.

"It has been difficult without you," he admits and I close my eyes "I wish I would of never sent you away."

I didn't want to be reminded of the facility I was sent to. Under the Alphas command I was forced to try my best to find a cure and then rejoin him at his side. Jacy knew from the countless meetings that I had no cure. When I first discovered the news I was so hurt by it that I refused to hear about him for the first couple of months.

"Perhaps in another universe you didnt send me away," I say and he smiles.
"I believe that would be a nice universe," he says gently "and I would have convinced you to stay and rule by my side. Where you belong."

I didn't want to have this argument with him again. I stand from the bed and he opens his eyes to look at my face. The ground beneath me seemed to be so far that if I moved I would fall.

"That will never happen Jace," I say sternly " listen I'm not going to give you some grand speech about growing from the pain. But I will tell you to disregard what others have been telling you about putting your pain aside and forgetting your vengeance. Hold onto it but use it as a weapon. Dig into what happened and put it to rest. But don't sit here and do nothing."

I turn around walk toward the door. My feet are the loudest sounds in the room and as I wrap my hand around the cold metal Jacy calls out to me.

"Celine," He says "stay for a while longer. Please."

I'm not facing him because I know his soft eyes will manipulate me into staying. Before long I would be pulled into schemes of helping him when I wasn't fit to do it. If I did I knew I would get him killed through emotions. Still I felt a heavy obligation to stick by his side and provide council. Do the generational task my family has always done.

"For one more day," I say clear enough that he can hear it.