The Good Accountant

Chapter Ten: Tiny Cacti

We sat in there for what felt like forever. Dianna walked in and told Jasmine about an appointment that had come in early. Jasmine was polite and warm again as she offered me some tea to take with me. I politely declined and went on my way. That was my meeting with the founder of the company I worked for.  I looked her in the eyes and was barely able to ask her what I wanted to know. She smiled in my face and told me exactly who she was. I get back to the office and just sit there. I don't know what to think of all that. She knew what I was thinking. She could read me like I was screaming my thoughts to the world. She understood me and gave me what I needed. What I didn't know I needed. She answered almost nothing and I still somehow feel heard and answered. I don't know if I want to think about all that. I clean the cranes off of my desk and get lost in work.

it's the end of the day and Trevon rushes into my cubicle. He is practically bouncing off the walls. He's looking for the book. "So how did it go. Did you make the switch? Did she see you? Were the books and exact match? There was something wrong wasn't there? It had stickers on it. I knew she was a clever one. She probably never has stickers on it. She probably hates stickers. It would be a full proof way to screw up a plan like ours. Only you would know what the sticker was. If you put it on at the last second too, it's just genius. There is no way to counter that. It's ok that we failed this time. We can try again. I have faith that we will succeed." Faith. That's what she was talking about. Faith in humanity. That's what she's investing in. She's buying back faith in humanity. That's why time is a factor. If it works than the world will change. It will be nothing like it is today. If she fails, the same result happens. Regardless of what happens, she is a force of change. How everything falls is up to the rest of the world. I don't say a word to Trevon. I just goe up and start home. I think Tom and Jane waved at me. I know I made it home. How I did, is not something I could even begin to imagine. I just lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I don't remember falling asleep.

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It's Thursday and there's a pink note in my mailbox.

I know yesterday was a little depressing. It's ok. You did your best. She's a cunning woman. We'll get her so don't worry about it. The truth will be known.

Do people really just talk to themselves in their head? I know I was out of it yesterday but good god. He didn't even confirm what happened. For all he knows, I could still have the book. I could be selling the information to the press. I could be in negotiations with any number of different papers or stations. Worst even, I could be selling the information to any competitors that she might have. I could even be blackmailing her myself. He knows so little about the whole thing that he wouldn't even know if that's how Jason got his job. He might think he is looking hard at the situation but in reality, he doesn't know anything. Trevon didn't pick me for any other reason than he could project his plan onto me. He just didn't want to do it by himself. I don't even know if he believes what he's saying. It just makes him feel better. I don't know if that a healthy thing for him. He's playing at the idea of knowing what's going on and having control over it. He is blinding himself from the truth by trying so hard to find it. I guess people do that all the time. I did it. It makes us all feel better to think that we have control. It makes us feel better to believe that we know everything. When you're a teenager you think you know everything. When you get older you think you start to understand that you didn't know everything but still fall into the same trap. You believe you know. It is causing pain to himself and others, on the idea that he has control. The irony of it all is if he were to let go of that idea he might actually be able to find his truth. He might be able to stop hurting himself. I throw the note away and get back to work.

The team should be turning in the reports on the third location tomorrow. A perfectly built school of faith, religion not included. I don't know a lot about this. I don't know what I've gotten myself into. If you told me that when I started here I would have to deal with all of this I would have left my ID on the table for Jane. Was this a bad experience? I learned that punching through cubicles is a thing I can do. I don't know what I would call this experience. I'm still technically going through it. I haven't quit my job yet. I don't think I want to. I like the people here. I worked hard to get here, harder to be here. Should I be more concerned about what's going on around me? The media is still in a fit over every move Jasmine makes. Trevon will probably be just like them. I wonder if he will ever find anything concrete on her. Jerry is hopefully getting back on his feet. He isn't the nicest guy in the world but he was convinced he was doing the right thing. He was doing everything in his power to fix what he thought was broken. Even now he could still be trying to get some information that would stop the dog person Trevon create for him. Jasmine and Trevon have that in common. Jerry just felt old. Ellie's funeral is on Sunday according to the letter I got from her sister. She thanked me for being a friend to her at work. Apparently, Ellie would talk about me. I didn't know her for very long. I didn't really do anything for her. Even with all that her sister is convinced I had an effect on her whole world. I miss her.