Chapter 2 - Why Fucking Me?

15 0 0

by The_Sun_Angel

by The_Sun_Angel

Now I never expected to be running with an 11 year old in some woods but here I am. Just so you know, I'm running for my life and not doing a stupid PACER test in the middle of the forest. Okay, let's backtrack a bit.

* insert "Reverse! Reverse!" from the ChaCha Slide*

My name is Kaimond Lartius, my friends call me Kai. I'm 15 and live in Florida. I also have no idea what was going on. This was an unexpected turn of events but I guess I was just way too oblivious to notice shit as normal. So my friends, Luna and Jessica, and I were just hanging out in the park when these three elderly women showed up. I thought nothing of it but I just didn't notice their creepy glares. Now, this kid showed up and it may have been very suspicious but honestly, who wouldn't want to leave when three old ladies are staring at you like they're planning your murder. Little did I know that was basically what they were doing. So of course, me being the idiot, I said why not take the kid and that's what we did. Shenanigans ensue and now I'm being chased through the woods by a fucking harpy on my heels while carrying a kid.

I'm honestly surprised at how I haven't started to slow down or get tired. It may have been the adrenaline but I don't think I could last this long while carrying an 11 year old. Anyways! I get far enough to find a tree and the kid just looks at me and says "Hi so actually I'm a satyr and the harpy can be killed" after ditching the high pitched voice and also ditching the baggy pants to prove that I'm not crazy. I could have done without the pants removal because at this point, what the fuck else exists? I look the satyr dead in the eyes and reply, "Great, now hold onto the nearest branch you see," before throwing him up the tree. He made a bleating sound as he was thrown, I can't blame him though.

I looked around at my surroundings and the harpy who was flying straight towards me. I couldn't hide, she'd probably find me somehow, I couldn't climb a tree fast enough, and I can't run fast enough either so my only other option was to face her. That's exactly what I did. I turned anime style and faced her, picking up a small rock and hitting her dead in the arm/wing thing(wtf are those even called) and she fell due to the imbalance. Before I chickened out, I ran over and started to beat the shit out of the harpy. A few kicks and punches in here and there as I tried to not die. Thank god my mom encouraged me to continue taekwondo. It ended with a roundhouse kick and the harpy falling to the ground in a feathered heap. I had a feeling it wasn't dead and the satyr yelling "It didn't die yet!" from the tree helped confirm it.

After about 5 minutes of searching, I found a sharp rock. It wasn't very sharp but it was the sharpest there was. At least it was also somewhat large. I hit it several times, hitting the neck, head, arm/wings again but it didn't seem to work. I threw away the other rock and found a much larger, heavier stone. I carried it over, then stood over the harpy's head with it. What kind of world do I live in with this sort of shit?