castle of desire

o n e ♖

wyz's

heavy breathing, continuous screaming, fat tears falling non-stop, and death. i have witnessed it all, at such a young age. at such a young age, i saw them all, with my mother, holding me tightly yet gently in her arms, with tears trickling down her cheeks, watching her beloved.. die before her very eyes.

for when i do not understand, why people have to die, why people cry when someone's dead, why people die, for an another person. i was once a mere child, not knowing anything about the cruelties of this world. i was only a child.. and i'm blaming myself because of that.

i was only a child who cannot do anything, for something, for anything, and for someone. i was a child, who knew nothing, about something, about anything, and about someone. someone who i forgot through time. someone, whom i didn't tried to forget but did. someone who've cherished me for who i was, for who i am, and for what i am.

why did it have to happen? why did he have to leave? why did we have to live on his behalf? i couldn't even try to think of it. the refreshened memory of him in my head, will never go away. for what we try to forget, are really those memories that stay.

he lent me his life, he saved me. me, someone who did nothing to him, someone who once ignored his prescence, and someone who didn't knew she was loved. with tears finding their way out of my eyes, sliding down against my skin. gently placed down the flowers on the very spot where he drew his last breath, with someone right beside me, holding me tight like my mother did to me.

"thank you for everything, father", and then i realized, this was the first day that i called him that.