Insane | GRETHAN

One | the voices

I've been in this cell for a week now and the walls seem to be closing in on me more and more everyday.

Whenever I think about how much I hate it in here I remember that I deserve this... for what I did.

My body twitched slightly and I began to scratch the scar on my arm aggressively you need to hurt someone, you need that feeling of someone dying in your arms the voice in my head spoke

"No! No! I can't I need to be good and get out!" I yelled as quietly as I could

The voices got louder in my head making me curl up in a ball and lay in bed covering my ears, as if that would make it harder to hear.

I have a lot of out bursts like these a lot, it's the main reason I'm the way I am now.

As I held my hands to my ears I could feel the large scars coming from my ears. I sat up and felt them trail down my neck, I thought about how I got them.

I was in class, in maybe the 6th grade? It was when the voice in my head started, telling me to do bad things. The voices made me go mad, I hated hearing their ideas of ways to kill people.

Eventually, when I was so worked up by the voices I stabbed myself in the ears with scissors. Of course I didn't loose my hearing because I had surgery where they carefully took out my scissors and made sure not to fuck up my ear drums.

The doctors told my parents to take me to a mental hospital but of course they didn't listen, they didn't want their poor Grayson to be seen as mentally unstable.

I was shaken out of my memory when a guard opened my cell door, it must be time for dinner or free time.

I remember Dolan, or well... Ethan. He treats me differently than everyone else, I don't really know him well... mainly because I hate people and I never want to be close with anyone again... after what I did.

I find my voices make me do things to people i care about which the sane me hates.

You see I have two voices, kinda like the angel and devil on my shoulders, only one voice- the devil- is the insane and is very loud while my other voice - the angel- the sane is very quiet, like a whisper almost.

I haven't heard my sane voice in awhile.

I finally made it to the cafeteria and grabbed my tray of food, I sat at an empty table which soon filled with people, I don't know any of them, but I guess it's just somewhere for them to sit.

I hate people, especially people I don't know, if any of them nearly even breath on me I might stab them- or choke them.

Just do it anyway, it's not like you'll be in solitary long, choke them Grayson choke them.

Just as I was about to pick out which one I wanted to kill Ethan stood behind them and cleared his throat, once they saw who it was they quickly moved away.

Ethan sat down and looked at me softly, I've never really seen that sort of face on him- or anyone in here.

"Stop looking at me" I growled looking down at my food not wanting to eat but needing something to look at other than him.

Ethan makes me feel weak, I don't fully understand it but I hate it, it's disgusting.

I looked back up at Ethan who was back to his stern and evil face, it made that feeling grow in my body.

"STOP" I yelled standing up and throwing my food on the ground

"I HATE YOU" I said to Ethan leaning over the table to moving inches away from his face, I can just about feel his breath on my face

I grab the small plastic knife on my side of the table and break it, I stand on the table and stab myself in the stomach. Making Ethan immediately stand up and grab me.

He stops me from stabbing my self anymore and lays me on the table.

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT?" Ethan shouts at everyone around the cafeteria making everyone immediately look away and go back to eating.

Ethan looks at me his eyebrows knitted together and makes a small chuckle "I thought a lot less of you before but now-" Ethan began

He just shook his head laughing as the prison guards pulled him off me and put me on a stretcher.

•

After a three hour surgery- which I was fully awake for without any pain killers- I was put in the prisons ICU section of their small 'hospital'

The only person here that actually seems to care about me is the nurse, she had this face the entire surgery, maybe guilt? I couldn't tell. But she held my hand the whole time, I stabbed my nails into her at first trying to make her stop but caved as I felt them cutting into me.

"Grayson?" The nurse asked walking into my small compacted room

I just stared at her I didn't feel like talking, it would probably hurt.

"We're moving you into a shared room" she said coming closer to me though she was very hesitant

I aggressively pulled my hands up to grab her only to be stopped by restraints tightly wrapped on my wrists.

"It's a room with Ethan Dolan.. I'm sure you're familiar with him" she said pausing for a moment "they decided to put you together because he improves in his mood greatly when you're together and he seems more... sane?" The nurse spoke

She seemed to be waiting for a response, which I didn't want to give.

I moved my head looking away from her; silently dismissing her in a way.

She walked out and a small tear ran down my face along with a small chuckle which turned into a full on laugh.

A/n:

Ooooooo hope you enjoyed

W/c: 1031