What does it mean?

Ethan***

No worse feeling than coming home after a long hard stressful day, and laying in a empty bed,  exhausted but can't sleep, nobody to collapse onto because the one that you love you would  never be able to tell them.
I wake up to feel that my face is wet id been crying I don't even remember crying. I have a mad headache what happened last night.
I get up and I see an ibuprofen and a glass of water on my night stand with a note reading "feel better bud xoxo gray" and I just think to myself what the hell happened last night.

Grayson****

I got up early this morning to take a walk because I didn't wanna be in Ethan's bed when he got up because of what happened last night.

                             **RECAP**

Me and Ethan were drinking last night yes we aren't old enough we're only 18 and about to graduate. We were so excited about the new appointment that we drank a whole bottle of farina. We then we started bouncing off the walls like little animals about ten minutes later me and Ethan were kissing and laughing not caring about anything. Here's where it gets weird I actually like the way Ethan kissed me I got that feel again when I asked if he had the tape and it felt so much better this time only I stop because we couldn't do this we are brothers and I'm not gay or am i?

Grayson***

So know you know what happens last night. I really hope Ethan doesn't remember anything because if he does our would might never be the same.
As I walk inside the house I immediately have to take a leak I walk through the apartment and go into the bathroom and I'm shocked I see a naked Ethan and I hurry and close the door before he could notice I was in there. I look down and see that I have a boner. I whisper to "myself what does this mean?"