Who Am I?

Chapter 2

" Hello there Eleanor. My name is Doctor Henry, but you can just call me Henry," he says. He looks like doctor mcdreamy on Grey's Anatomy.

" Hi," I mumble.

" Okay, so I'm just going to ask a few questions to start us off," Henry explains.

" Okay," I quietly say.

" Have you started your period yet?" Henry asks. I hate it when they ask this.

" No I have not, I'm an elite athlete so I haven't gotten it yet," I say. I would love to explain all of it, but it's really because my body fat is under a certain percentage so I don't get it, but if I get any of that body fat or slow down I could get it. Most likely not because of my disorder too.

" Okay. I'm a little concerned about your weight, it seems to be extremely low, especially for an athlete," he states.

" Yeah, I don't know why," I lie.

" I think I know why, and I think I know why you've been fainting," Henry says.

" Really? Why?" I ask.

" Well Eleanor if you may ask even thought you may already know. I think you have an eating disorder, in fact I know you do," Henry says and I hear my mother gasp.

" Eleanor is this true?" she questions.

" Unfortunately, yes," I say.

My mother starts to cry and walks out of the room.

" Eleanor I can help you get through this. I have a daughter, her name is Emma same age as you and same problem as you," Henry states.

" Really? When did she start?" I ask.

" About the same time as you, beginning of this year," Henry replies.

" Oh, is she getting better?" I ask.

" Not quite. She feels like a freak and she's going back and forth we've just decided to move her into a hospital room," he says.

" They can do that?" I ask.

" Yeah. pretty cool huh?"

" Yeah, which hospital is that?" I question.

" Right here. Ocean Park Hospital," he replies.

" That's pretty cool," I say. I know I'm not going to get better, but I can at least act happy.

After me and Henry have a talk about this he tells me about all the dangers and all this stuff I don't really care about. He has me stay over night and forces me to eat, what he doesn't know is that when he leaves I'll just go to the bathroom and do what I do at home. I know I'm supposed to get better, but I just can't stand the fact of getting fat again. I didn't like it and I never will like it again. I'm still fat.

I'm just lying in bed "eating" when Nurse Lisa walks in a tells me I have a visitor. Who could it be this time? I mean everyone from the team has come and so have a few friends, but that's it.

" Hey," I hear a voice say. I'm shocked to see who it is once I turn over. It can't be him. He must think I'm a freak.

" Hey Trevor," I say.

" So did they find out why you're fainting so much?" asks Trevor.

" Yes they did. It's because......my iron is low," I lie. I've been lying a lot lately.

" Are you sure? That's not what I heard," he says. Dammit. I knew someone else knew. But who?

" What did you hear?" I ask.

" That you have what my little sister, Emma has, Anorexia Nervosa," Trevor says.

" Oh, Henry is your dad. Yes I guess I'm anorexic," I say.

" Why?" he asks.

" What do you mean, why?" I ask.

" Why did you stop eating? I would see you at soccer looking happy, healthy, beautiful," he says, but mumbles the last part so I can't hear it.

" Why do you think? I'm fat and ugly, look at how fat I am in this picture," I saw as I pull out my phone to show him. " I was just tired of being the ugly and fat one," I sigh.

" Eleanor, you were never fat nor ugly. You're beautiful and skinny," he says.

" Did your dad send you hear to say these things?" I question.

" No! Why would you think that?" Trevor answers.

" Because you never acknowledged me before this happened, you even texted me by accident. Now you're here saying all these things I'm having trouble believing," I explain.

" I didn't text you on accident, I thought you were Erica and I only realized that when you texted me back," Trevor explains.

" Oh, but-" I was cut off when Dr. Henry came in saying that Trevor shouldn't bother me during eating hour.

" Dr. Henry?" I ask.

" Yes," he replies.

" Can I go to bed. I'm really really tired.

" Sure, if you need to go to the bathroom it's down the hall to the left," he says.

" Okay, thank you," I say as he walks out.

10 minutes later I get up and go to the bathroom to puke. As I'm walking out I get a drink of water to wash out this horrible taste out of my mouth. When I hear a teen age boys voice.

" Puking up your food?" asks the voice. Shit I'm caught.