Vampies in Love

9. Damon Chills Out

   The two men laid together in the middle of the woods. They had  stumbled upon a clearing that gave them a rare, unobstructed sight of  the night sky. The grass was damp and soaking into their clothes, but  Damon didn't care.

   "Do you have a family?" Damon asked. Elijah remained silent for a moment before responding.

   "I do. Three brothers and a sister."

   Damon could tell that he was holding back. He didn't blame him.  If being vampires strained his relationship with Stefan, he didn't want  to even imagine how it would affect a family of five siblings.

   "I take it things aren't so great." Damon wanted to know more,  but didn't want to press too much. He knew what it was like to share  things without actually revealing anything about himself.

   "I haven't seen them in a long time, is all," Elijah said. He  seemed sad talking about them, though, so Damon hurried to change the  subject.

   Damon adjusted his arm so it supported his head. "I have a  brother. He's a pain in the ass, and we often don't get along." He  glanced at the man next to him. He seemed more in the moment than he had  a moment before. "Most of it's my fault, though, so I can't complain  much."

   At this, Elijah turned his head to look at Damon. He raised  himself on an elbow to look at him better. "How is it your fault?" His  tone was very serious, which brought a chuckle out of Damon.

   "Stefan makes a new life for himself, I come in and destroy it.  It's just how we work." Damon said. Elijah just gave him an incredulous  look. Or, at least, as incredulous as the stoic man could muster. "I do  try to make things right, try to fit into his life. But every time,  without fail, I screw something up, and Stefan ends up hating me for a  couple decades or so."

   "How do you mess things up?" Elijah asked gently. Speaking to  Elijah was always easy, so the words practically spilled out of him.

   "I kill someone. The reason varies; sometimes I'm trying to prove  a point, or it's a bad time in my life. There were a couple of times I  was trying to help him." Damon wanted to laugh at the idea. Him, the  disaster, helping Stefan, the golden boy. "But it always ends with me  killing someone and Stefan seeing me as a monster." Talking about these  things would probably do him some good later, but right now, he felt  terrible.

   Elijah moved closer to Damon, cupping his cheek with his free  hand. "You're not a monster Damon. I've seen your kind heart. If Stefan  can't see it, or wants you to change to be in his life, then he doesn't  deserve you."

   Was Damon really going to cry on this beautiful night that was  meant to be a relaxing escape? "I guess I'm just afraid of Stefan seeing  the real me and deciding I'm not good enough. So I mess it up and leave  before he can have the chance." Elijah's thumb brushed away a stray  tear that had escaped despite Damon's attempts at keeping his emotions  contained.

   "If he knew how much you really cared, there's no way he could ever think you weren't good enough," Elijah said. Damon smiled.

   "Why are you so good at this?" Damon asked.

   "Because it's what you deserve," Elijah said as if the answer were obvious.

   Damon didn't often consider what he wanted, let alone what he  deserved, but he never imagined that he would ever deserve someone as  incredible as this.

~~~~~~~~

It had been hours since the werewolf venom had cleared up and Damon  felt well enough to move around. Feeling like a goddamn teenager, he had  snuck out of his bedroom window so he could meet up with Elijah. He  would have to offer some sort of explanation to Stefan after what just  happened, but Damon wanted to avoid doing so for as long as possible.

For now, he sat next to Elijah on the latter's bed, both of their  backs pressed against the wall. Elijah was flipping through the pages of  an old, deteriorated book while Damon squished his cheek against his  shoulder. He had given up on trying to understand whatever the book  said. He couldn't even recognize the language.

It was a rare feeling for him, but Damon soaked up every detail of  the moment. The sunlight cast stripes across the bed. He could hear  Elijah's steady heartbeat and the sharp noise of a page turning. The  stale hotel stench was easily covered up when Damon buried his nose in  his boyfriend's shoulder, and even though it was late fall, he was  plenty warm pressed against Elijah.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when Elijah gently closed his book and rested his head atop Damon's.

"You should get back," Elijah whispered. "You're brother is probably worried about you."

"He can wait."

Elijah let out a soft chuckle and kissed the top of Damon's head.  "The last time he saw you, you were on your deathbed, and the only  reason you didn't die was because some powerful, mysterious original  vampire that he definitely didn't trust came in and offered an antidote  for seemingly nothing in return. I imagine that he's losing his mind at  the moment."

Damon rolled his eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. "God, why are you always right?"

"Could it be the thousands of years of life experience?"

"No, I think it's some super magical secret." Damon positioned himself to face Elijah. "What's your secret?"

Elijah leaned closer until their noses were a hairsbreadth apart.  "You've stalled enough," he said, closing the gap between them to kiss  Damon. "Go talk to Stefan."

"What do I even say?"

"The truth would be the easiest explanation, but I understand if  you're not comfortable doing that." Elijah gently slid a hand onto  Damon's cheek, pushing some of his hair back in the process. "I'm sorry  if I made a complicated mess for you, but the thought of losing you-,"

"Hey, it's okay. I'm glad you helped me out. As it turns out, I  prefer being alive." Damon looked at the door, finally realizing just  what it was he was about to go do. "And you're right. I've avoided  talking to Stefan about this for way too long. It's time I man up and be  a man, or whatever."

Damon stood up from the bed and started walking towards the exit.  About halfway there, though, he paused and turned around. "Wish me luck,  I guess," he said, offering Elijah a parting smirk.

"You'll be just fine. Now go before Stefan sniffs you out and you find yourself in an even more complicated situation."

Damon huffed a laugh and walked out of the room. He wasn't sure what  exactly he planned on telling Stefan, but he figured that winging it  would be fine enough. He would gauge how Stefan felt about Elijah and  base his explanation off of that. If he absolutely hated the guy, then  Elijah had somehow found himself in Damon's debt. If Stefan didn't mind  him, then Elijah was Damon's old friend. But if Stefan liked or trusted  him...

There was no reason to not tell him the truth.

The thought terrified him. Yes, he had told Elena, which had ended  fairly well for him. But Elena was someone he had just met, someone who  had occupied such a small portion of him immortal life. Taking a bet on  how she'd react seemed insignificant to the risk Damon was making in  telling Stefan. If his own brother reacted poorly, Damon didn't know  what he would do.

But he would never know unless he actually told him. Even when Damon  and Elijah were together in the past, pre mindwipe, Damon had never even  considered talking to Stefan about this. He really didn't want to keep  his relationship a secret or tell lie after lie to avoid anyone finding  out. It would be exhausting, and quite honestly unfair to Elijah. He  didn't deserve to treated that way, as someone to be kept in the shadows  and spoken about in a hushed voice, especially after waiting patiently  for decades for Damon.

All of these things piled into Damon's head as he walked up the  pathway into his own house. At this point, he didn't care how Stefan  reacted. This was Damon's life, and if Stefan didn't want to be a part  of it, so be it. He had lived without him before, he could do it again.

Damon had made up his mind. Stepping through the front door, he would tell Stefan everything.