𝓭𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓰 || paused

🖤35🖤

* EMOTIONAL *
two days later
             The funeral
Tamia's pov

Today was my baby brother troy funeral everything felt so unreal i was genuinely hurt by it all that boy was like my bestfriend fuck that he WAS my bestfriend we was twins he had my back for what felt like forever no one can take his place man NO ONE .I rode with Javion to the funeral because my mama rented a limo for family but all the FAMILY that was in that damn limo aint fuck with my brother so i'll pass . 15 minutes in to the ride everything was quiet .... until only god knows came on and i knew javion was about to do the most 
he healed my chin and started singing
"I've fell  in love with you more than once *licks lips*
Shine on me like the mornin' sun
No, she don't think she's the only one*waves finger*
She can't think she's the only one
Crazy how things change, I just don't know
'Cause I can't change 'til you change me first
'Cause only God knows, only God knows
'Cause only God knows, only God knows
Yeah, on the way home I got a call like (Brrt)
"Nigga where the fuck you been at all night" ("The fuck you been?")
And God know that I like all types
So her assumptions prolly all right (Man, just come here)
I tried a lot but I ain't got the skills
Plus if I do, it'll prolly get me killed
On the way home, Jesus grab the wheel (Thank you, Lord)
Only God know just how I feel (Damn)
i just put my head down and blushed HARD asf i can't lie that bad ass voice he had did make me feel a little bit better  . 30 minutes later we arrived at the church it was PACKED LIKE 400 deep in it was just the wake . Javion got out the car in came on my side to help me out the car . Oh i forgot to tell y'all my leg kinda of broke 🙄 the cast will be off in about 2 weeks . Anywho we walked in i sat with my family which was my parents whom really been getting closer since the situation, tra'vontay & kenzo.  The service had started my favorite cousin who i haven't seen in years India was on stage about to blow the beat started and so did she
"One of these mornings won't be very long
You'll look for me and I'll be gone, yes, I will
I'm going to a place where there'll be nothing, nothing to do
But simply walk around Heaven all day
When I get to Heaven, I'm gonna jump and shout
Nobody will be able to put me out
My mother, she'll be waiting, my father, my three sisters too
We'll get together and walk around Heaven all day
Oh Father up above, don't You hear, can't You hear me praying'
I need You, I need You to walk right by my side
Lord, when my way, when my way gets cloudy
I need You for my guide
Everyday will be Sunday, my Lord, Sabbath will have no end
We'll do nothing but sing and praise His holy name
And when He says, "Sister, well done"
Then my race, one that's [?] will be won Gonna walk around Heaven, walk around Heaven
Walk around Heaven, walk around Heaven
I'll walk around Heaven, walk around Heaven
We're gonna walk around Heaven all day"
She kept singing while me & my family stood up and walked to the casket i broke down javion was right there to catch me i got up and kissed Troy's head i gave him one last hug and stared at his lifeless body . I went back to my seat my mama & nem said there goodbyes to troy also . I was surprised to see that naomi had came she kissed his head softly i wasn't mad or anything but damn hey sus .I noticed that it was tons of girls claiming my brother i laughed after seeing them do the fool . The girl ass i beat at my party was their to i really didn't care long as no start drama at my brother homegoing . 30 minutes later the wake was over The pastor said some words my mama said some touching stuff so did tra'vontay & my father it was now my turn
"Hi i'm tamia troys twin if you don't know , Troy was my bestfriend, he was my everything i'm lose for words right . We should've went together ☹️ But i know if troy was here he'll say "aye none of y'all my girl " *everyone laughed * But he would say to us to
"Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.
I'm at my new home in heaven " I said while everyone clapped and wiped there tears . 30 minutes later the funeral was over we had went to the burial and buried his casket into the dirt . everybody came over to my house to eat for  troys home going after that I fell asleep in Troy's room smelling his covers and cried myself to sleep.